Music To My Ears

Silent Sanctuary had a gig at Saguijo Makati last night, and I finally had a chance to watch them (lapit kasi sa office! Buti na lang). Haven't been able to watch live band gigs in a long time (the last one being Itchyworms in Aklan), and I forgot how fun it could be. Beer, friends, live music – who could go wrong with that?

Anyway, since I'm in such a Silent Sanctuary high, I'm lengthening and reposting my CD review entry. Enjoy!

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Silent Sanctuary’s new album entitled Fuchsiang Pag-Ibig is a must-have. Sobrang sulit. And the following are the reasons why:

- Ikaw Lamang by Silent Sanctuary has been playing over the radio for several weeks now, and I never tire of listening to it. It's their first single, and the reason why I bought their CD in the first place. The way they incorporate classic instruments (violin and cello) into the contemporary rock sound is pleasantly surprising to the ears.

- Summer Song is a sweet, reggae tune that sounds like sun, sand, and piña coladas are streaming out of your speakers. The notes are light and smooth, and the lyrics are so reminiscent of summer love. This is to be my anthem for Summer 2007. Now all I need is a hammock in a beach setting, and someone to sit beside me. Ahhh. :)

- Another light, fun song is Pink 5ive. The melody is the "bop your head along with the beat" kind, and it tells the story of the elusive girl codenamed "Pink 5ive." It jumpstarts the listener with a bubble-gum happy tune, and then the happiness trails off with a slow, despondent theme. "Mga superhero'y sinungaling din..." Again, a song that showcases opposite ends of the emotional pole. :)

- Technically, “kundiman” is the Philippines’ signature love song, generally expressing the forlorn lament of a faithful lover pining for his beloved (shempre rinesearch ko pa yan). Silent Sanctuary's Kundiman is a love song that gives justice to the technical definition of the term. It is a song which uses a lot of playful lyrics, my favorite of which is "para kang unan / pinapainit mo ang aking tiyan." Hehe. But despite the use of comedic, seemingly silly words to woo the girl in the stanzas, the chorus is bittersweet in its message of devotion: "Hindi ako lalayo / Dahil ang tanging panalangin ko ay ikaw..."

- The phrase “ingat ka” is so commonly used as parting words that the underlying sweetness of its message is overlooked. The song “Ingat Ka” reminds you of that good feeling you get when someone is concerned enough to tell you to take care. It is an unexpected favorite song of mine. I guess part of why I like it is because I would want someone to dedicate this song to me when I leave for graduate studies in the future. Ang sarap kasi makarinig ng "ngiti mong kay ganda / siguradong mamimiss kita" pag aalis ka na, diba? Hehe. :)

- “14” is track number 14 in a CD with a total of 12 songs (Go figure!). Like the rest of the album, it’s sweet, it’s sad, and it rocks! The lyrics are nicely written, and knowing what “14” actually means gives it an extra kilig factor. ;) It’s the kind of song you would want to sing (with feelings, dapat) when you’re sad, frustrated, or feeling sentimental (pag gusto mong mag-emote, kumbaga...).

- One of my guilty-pleasures is Rebound, a poppy-happy sounding song with an undertone of melancholy and desperation (which is what love is, really). The way the strings are introduced right after the line "o kay bilis naman magsawa ng puso mo" makes the heart soar and sink at the same time. Beautiful contrast.

And that's what Silent Sanctuary is all about (for me, anyway). A band of beautiful contrast. Stringing together pleasure and pain; singing about the sweetness of love and the agony of it.

It's like being pulled simultaneously in opposite directions (kasiyahan, kalungkutan), and loving every minute of it. Astig talaga. :)

Buy the album. Listen to the songs (especially the ones I mentioned above). I guarantee you'll be asking for more.

*P.S. Thanks to the band for signing my CD cover at the Saguijo gig! Hope you have more Makati gigs in the future! :)

Imagine...

My Daydream...:)

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Virginia Gun Massacre

This is such a tragedy.

Why do acts of violence as extreme as this happen? What's sad is, the people who got killed didn't do anything to warrant this kind of death. They were killed because of what? Because a stranger couldn't take the pressure? Because their classmate was crazy enough to suddenly want to kill anything in his path? Because they decided to attend class that morning to learn? They were killed simply because they were at the wrong place at the wrong time.

I really don't understand why some people are driven into this kind of "killing spree" insanity. I don't know the exact facts, but I'm pretty sure that another US school shooting happened several years back. What could be the constant factor here? The US educational system is too difficult? Teachers expect too much from their students? Peer pressure? Bullies? The need for attention? One last hurrah – the "I-think-I'll-go-kill-as-many-people-as-I-can-before-killing-myself" kind of hurrah? I'm sure the psychologists around the world are having a field day trying to figure out the psychological reason behind all this.

Whatever the reason may be, the harsh truth is, 33 people are dead. I don't know them personally, but I really feel for the family and friends they left behind. Imagine thinking that your kid is at school and then finding out later that day that he was gunned down inside the classroom – the last place on earth you'd expect to be remotely dangerous. It's crazy. :(

Are there any more safe places left in the world?

Bagong Pag-Asa

"Prince William and Kate Middleton have broken up."

Sad, sad news. Kawawa naman si Kate. She probably can't wallow in depression like normal broken-hearted girls, what with the paparazzi swarming around her after this piece of news. Boo.

It must be hard to be criticized for not being good enough for a Prince...And then, once you've broken up, you get criticized for being daft enough to let a catch like that go. Tuh. That has to suck.

On the other hand, this means Wills is single again. And I'm sure a lot of Princess wannabes are secretly rejoicing and plotting their ascent to the British throne. :P

Hmmm.

I knew it was a mistake to forego my graduate studies in UK this year. Hehe.


Cute pic. Just had to post it. :)

Spin-Off!

What do you get when you cross my favorite characters from Grey's Anatomy and Life As We Know It?

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Addison Montgomery's spin-off TV series!

(which might be entitled Private Practice. A play on Addison's specialty in obstetrics and gynecology, perhaps?)

Hurray!

Kate Walsh's character, Addison Montgomery is the perfect person (out of all the Grey's Anatomy cast) to lead a TV series: beautiful, elegant, headstrong. I've always liked her. McDreamy is a McIdiot anyway. Ellen Pompeo, who plays Meredith Grey in Grey's Anatomy, is reportedly pissed that Addison gets her own spin-off (/me tries to suppress evil laughter).

Chris Lowell (who also plays Piz in Veronica Mars) is goofy-cute. Kinda geeky, kinda awkward sometimes. But a cutie, nonetheless. I love his character in Veronica Mars (and in Life As We Know It, of course)...I wonder if he'll be typecast as the goofy intern in the spin-off show.

Sean Faris is hot. Younger, taller, prettier Tom Cruise. Eeeeee. He could be the show's McHottie. Wahahaha. I was watching Sleepover in Star Movies the other day (out of boredom, I swear), and I was pleasantly surprised to see Sean (close kami) as the lead male opposite Alexa Vega (of Spy Kids fame). The story was kinda shallow, very unlikely to happen (as most HS romantic comedies are), but very kilig. HS hunk falls for geeky freshman. Woooh. *sigh* :)


The show is set to air on May 3, 2007.

Aaaaahh. I can't wait. :)

Dream on.

I was wrong all along. I don't want to be an architect. I don't want to study.

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I want to be a Victoria's Secret Fashion Show model.

I want to be like Heidi Klum, Gisele Bundchen, Alessandra Ambrosio, Adriana Lima and Karolina Kurkova! Wheee.

Heidi Klum (in flashing underwear)

Gisele Bundchen (and JT)


Alessandra Ambrosio (zexy!)


Adriana Lima (cute)

Karolina Kurkova (supermodel)

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*poof*

Dream on, Les. Hahaha!

Some people are just born to be model-gorgeous and glamorous.
I was born to just dream about it. *sigh*

Does anyone have the videos of VSFS 2000, 2001 & 2002? Pahingi.

Stress

Master Yoda says that I didn't make the right decision in choosing the promotion over graduate studies.

Isaiah the Magic 8 Ball says otherwise.

I, on the other hand, am on the fence about it. It's strange, because I made a decision already, I shouldn't be anywhere near any kind of fence.

I woke up today with a sore throat and a fever, apparently an effect of extreme stress and dehydration. The thoughts running through my head:

1. Ang init.
2. Shit. Sabi ko kay Sir Jojo papasok ako ngayon...Baka hanapin nya ako.
3. (after checking my office mail account) Argh. May teleconference sa Monday.
4. Kailangan ko magpagaling. Bawal magkasakit. Kailangan ko pumasok.
5. Kahit may sakit ako, papasok parin ako. May deadline sa Friday eh.
6. Kaya ko ba to???

I just realized that I will be living like this (early mornings, late nights, lack of sleep, lack of nourishment, constant stress, no social life) for the next year or so. Now I understand the roboticness (hehe. word inventor) of my boss. I used to criticize him for being such a workaholic. We even gave him a Click VCD for Christmas just to give him a hint. And - horror of horrors - I am starting to become like him.

Not good.

And the worst part is, this is just the beginning.

What the hell did I get myself into?

The Unexpected

"Sometimes the expected simply pales in comparison to the unexpected. You gotta wonder why we cling to our expectations. Because the expected is just what keeps us steady, standing, still. The expected is just the beginning; the unexpected is what changes our lives."
-from Grey's Anatomy

I have had a run-in with the unexpected this week. It bowled me over, and I'm betting that it will change my life, if I let it.

I was accepted into UCL, and the school year is slated to start this September. I have been getting ready, psyching myself up to face the cold (freezing!) weather. I've refrained from buying tank tops for this summer, and I've started to buy winter clothes instead. For the past few months, I have been anticipating this event.

But that's not even the unexpected part yet.

A day before my birthday, the CEO of the firm I work for gave me some very big news. He has hand-picked me to head a new project in Dubai. Out of all the 120+ employees, he chose me to be the project architect. That's pretty big, considering that at 25, I'll be the youngest PA in the office, and I'll be managing an overseas project. No, I won't be based in Dubai, but I'll be attending meetings there a couple of times this year. I've never been there before, I've never headed a project before (at least, not one this big!), so this is a great opportunity.

I had to decide (he gave me a 4-day deadline to decide!) whether to take on this project, or to continue with my graduate school plans. It was a pretty tough decision to make, because they are both such great opportunities, that it would be really such a waste to let one of them go.

Which one do you think is the better option?
Which one do you think I picked? :)

Sweet Surprise

I found these lying on my bed when I got home from work tonight.
Thanks to Mia and Tina for this unexpected gift.
How you achieved this from 5000 miles away, I don't know.
Ang galing. Ang sweet. Nagulat ako!
Naiyak din ako, promise. Hehe. :')

I love you both! You are the sweeteeeeest! :) *hug*
*mwahmwahmwah*

Gusto Ko To!

I haven't been feeling very nice these past few weeks (the whole of February to be exact). I dunno why I'm so irritable/depressed/moody/sensitive for this month. I'm assuming I'm experiencing what's called the "Birthday Blues" -- also known as the condition that one acquires when one expects too much from other people. Bad. Very bad. :(

Since I've started on a selfish note, let me pull out all the stops and blatantly list down what I want for my birthday. Time to look greedy. Whoopee.

My Birthday Wishlist

(In no particular order...)

• Laptop bag (for a 15" laptop). Hopefully with padding and lots of pockets (to contain my mouse, power cord, etc.) Preferrably white, khaki or army green.
• Silent Sanctuary's new album. Niiice. :)
• Cool shades for summer! (My sister knows the style I like...Parang classic Chanel sunglasses).
• Silver/Silver-gold necklage with a nice pendant ("L," "Les," or a cute symbol - gem accents are very much welcome).
• A nice thumb ring. Or any sort of finger ring, as long as it's not a wedding ring (hehe. Not yet, anyway). Something I can wear everyday.
• Graphic tee from Team Manila (I'm size Medium-Large).
• Bench tee w/ the words "dedma" printed in front (White shirt w/ red letters). I've seen this shirt once, 3 years ago. On sale at that museum near BSP along Roxas Blvd. Hehe.
• Nice bikini for summer (*ehem* Calling on my seastarr).
• Body Shop Cheek Tint and those Bronzer Balls (is that what they're called? Panget pakinggan eh. Hehe).
• Whipped foundation.
• Digital Camera (Canon Digital Ixus, please)!
• iPod Video or iPod Nano. My iPod is dead. I need a new one. :(
• New jeans (yung hindi bitin).
• Brown flip-flops -- este -- tsinelas. (I'm size 8 1/2 to 9)
• Black/white sandals. 1-2 inch heels; bagay sa kahit ano.
• Messenger boy cap (army green or khaki).
• Trip to Boracay. Or Hong Kong.
• A pug puppy. Can anyone give me a dog to love? :(
• Beanie babies.
• And don't get me started on the books I want. It warrants a separate (and very long) blog entry. Just let me loose inside a Fully Booked store (with an appropriate amount of cash). Thank you very much.
• A nice, sweet, well-thought of surprise. Surprise me. Please. I need to cry happy tears for a change. This Birthday Blues thing has taken my tear ducts hostage.

The Holiday

"I have found almost everything ever written about love to be true. Shakespeare said, "Journeys end in lovers meeting." What an extraordinary thought.

I love this movie.

Yes, it's all about losing love, finding it in the end, and laughing and crying about it in between. Great characters. Great lines. I. LOVED. IT.

Kate Winslet's character made being tragic look so good. Hearing her spiel (see below) gave me a heart achy feeling because everything she said was so true. Being so dramatic, so tragic, and heartbroken is so romantic, it made me miss feeling that way.

Hah. Not really. Not quite. :D

"It doesn't matter how many new haircuts you get, or gyms you join, or how many glasses of chardonnay you drink with your girlfriends... you still go to bed every night going over every detail and wonder what you did wrong or how you could have misunderstood. and how in the hell for that brief moment you could think that you were that happy. And sometimes you can even convince yourself that he'll see the light and show up at your door. And after all that, however long all that may be, you'll go somewhere new. and you'll meet people who make you feel worthwhile again. And little pieces of your soul will finally come back. And all that fuzzy stuff, those years of your life that you wasted, that will eventually begin to fade."

Ack! I bet everyone (well, every girl - including me - at least) in that movie theater thought of that as their line. I'm sure you, my dear reader, are thinking that it's your line, too.

Weirdly enough, the nice thing about being so tragic and heartbroken, is the pain. It's the kind of pain that wrenches your gut, squeezes your heart, and makes you hurt in places that you never knew existed within you. I was addicted to that kind of pain, once. I was afraid to move on and let go of it because it consumed me for so long that I forgot how to be myself without it. I held on to the feeling of it, because it made me feel real -- just like how being in love makes you feel alive, pain has this uncanny way of reminding you that you exist.

Jude Law's character is a lot like Hugh Jackman's character in Kate and Leopold: a man that cannot possibly exist! He's good-looking, charming, bookish and intelligent, sensitive (how cute is it that he's a weeper? Haha) and he has s British accent. He's that and a lot of other things (I can't disclose everything as it will spoil the movie for you). An excerpt from a review of The Holiday: "The main draw to the film is the chemistry between the stars. Diaz and Law are so cute together you realize it really is a fantasy, but you want to believe it, because it feels good." Ahhh. So TRUE.

There are so many things in life that you want to believe just because they make you feel so good (love, of course, is the most obvious example). Some even force themselves to believe it, even when it starts to hurt -- because they so desperately want to go back to the time when it felt good.

"Because you're hoping you're wrong. And every time she does something that tells you she's no good, you ignore it. And every time she comes through and surprises you, she wins you over, and you lose that argument with yourself, that she's not for you."

*sigh* This is me being sappy. :)

I want a DVD just so I can watch it over and over again (without paying 120 bucks. Haha), and so I can hear those amazing lines. Somebody give me the complete script! Ahhh! :)

You Wouldn't Like Me Today

Everybody's been acting really pissy towards me today, and I am so sick of it.

Aaaaarrrrggghhh. *sigh* :'(

Random depressing thoughts:

· People assume that I will react in a certain way, that I am thinking of a certain thought, or that I am feeling a certain way, and all of that assuming undermines my real emotions, my real thoughts and my real actions. I know that I am a predictable person, and that my emotions are so easy to read, but I wish people would just have faith that I can go beyond what they perceive I am capable of.

· When you know a person so well, it's often hard to have faith in them, not because you don't trust them to do the right thing, but because you are so used to them doing just the opposite.

· I sometimes wish that I weren’t an adult, just so I could give up on things, and people wouldn’t think that I have shirked my responsibilities.

· I am absorbing so much negativity from the people around me that my heart feels like it's bleeding itself to death.

· I really wish I could tell my boss that I don't feel like going to work tomorrow because I'm emotionally drained, among other things. "Sir, di po ako papasok bukas. Gusto ko kasi magmukmok sa bahay."

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Ano ba. Hindi naman full moon. It’s not that time of the month. Then why do I feel so "dark and twisty?" :( Yuck. I think I'm channeling Meredith Grey. Hehe.

Feeling angry.confused.guilty.tired.sad. :(

Standing Up Straight

Yesterday I skipped worked to get my spine aligned. 3 hours of a therapist pushing and prodding my vertebra into the center.

Turns out that my left pelvic bone was misaligned, and my spine had a small curvature (it looked like the letter 'C.' Ugh. Nasty). And my legs weren't aligned. My right leg was longer than the left by 3 centimeters.

It was pretty cool...and effective, I think. My posture has improved considerably. Before this session, I couldn't keep my back straight while sitting or standing. Now, it actually hurts to try to hunch over. Ok, so my back isn't straight as a rod yet, but I don't hunch as much as before. 2 centimeters lang, at most. Hehe. And my legs are now perfectly aligned. So I'm genuinly 5'6" on both feet. Haha.

The annoying thing is, I have to sleep on my back as much as possible, or else my spine will just go back to how it was. I had to quell my urge to roll over and hug my pillow (I sleep in the fetal position). Argh. And I have to refrain from crossing my legs.

I have to do some self-help exercises here at home, and I have to go back for a maintenance session. But it was worth it, I think. There's some slight discomfort, but the spino-therapist said that my bone and muscles are still getting used to this new arrangement. Yeah. Me too. Hehe.

My Dream Book
For 2007, I hope to fill this pretty notebook with all the things I want to do, all of my goals, and all of my aspirations. Whee.

7 Things

Got this from Anton's blog. Hurray for surveys.

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Seven things I want to do before I die:
1. Be an honor student.
2. Get married.
3. Have kids. Twins, hopefully!
4. Teach in U.P.
5. Design my dream house (and have it built!).
6. Travel around Europe.
7. Put up an animal shelter.

Seven things I cannot do:
1. I cannot do a split.
2. I cannot sneeze with my eyes open? Hehe
3. I cannot pass by a mirror without checking my reflection in it. Hehe. Vain.
4. I cannot hold good posture for more than a few minutes. Kuba na ako. Wah.
5. I cannot go up to my boss to tell him that I think he's a dickhead. Hehe.
6. I cannot stop spending on food. ("Bukas nalang ako magdadiet." Hehe.)
7. I cannot think of any more interesting things to add to this list.

Seven things that attract me to a boy:
1. Marunong magdala. :D
2. Confident enough to act silly in public.
3. The smile.
4. Intelligent conversationalist (enough to get me to talk. I'm shy. Haha).
5. No drama! I have enough of that on my own, thank you very much.
6. Nice, strong arms that are good for hugging me. :)
7. Smells good. :)

Seven things that I say most often:
1. Ano baaaa?!
2. Wow.
3. Shit.
4. Crap.
5. Tumaba ba ako?
6. Ang taba ko na.
7. Diet ako eh.

Seven books I love to read:
1. Harry Potter books
2. A Series of Unfortunate Events
3. Griffin and Sabine trilogy (anything by Nick Bantock, actually)
4. The God of Small Things (I lost my copy, though! Wah!)
5. Warrior of the Light by Paulo Coelho
6. The Other Boleyn Girl by Philippa Gregory
7. Pugad Baboy. hehe.

Seven movies I could watch over and over again:
1. Love Actually
2. My Best Friend's Wedding
3. You've Got Mail
4. Princess Bride
5. Finding Nemo
6. Monsters Inc.
7. Father of the Bride

Seven people I'm tagging to do this survey:
1. My sister
2. Leni (ikaw ang madalas magcomment dito eh! Thank you! haha)
3. Anyone else who's reading this right now
4. Anyone who loves answering surveys as much as I do
5. Anyone who hates answering surveys (give it a try!)
6. Anyone who's bored
7. Anyone! Answer this!

Grey's Anatomy

I have been watching my Grey's Anatomy DVDs, and I am hooked. It's weird that normal people like me (yes, I am normal) can relate to the lives of surgeons (they are awesome, by the way. Kudos to all the great surgeons of the world. Hehe), but it is so easy to get emotionally involved with this show, with its characters.

Watching the show per episode really helps you get to know the characters, their lives, their quirks, their laudable traits, and most especially their annoying ones. I have sympathized with them, empathized with them, disliked them, shouted at them for doing stupid things, and cheered for them when they attempt to rectify their mistakes.

It is obviously a show revolving around the narrator, Dr. Meredith Grey, hence the title "Grey's Anatomy." But it hasn't been Meredith's show lately. Well, it actually hasn't been hers ever since season 1 ended. Ever since McDreamy chose to stay with his wife, Meredith Grey has gone from poor victim to needlessly desperate to pathetic whore to psychotic neurotic. Argh. Her whining and her lisp annoys me sometimes. The weird face she makes when she cries (wails) annoys me a lot.

Ellen Pompeo is nice and all, and I'm sure she's an ok actress, but too much of her is...well, annoying. Especially when she's playing emotionally wounded Meredith Grey, who feels sorry for herself most of the time. I know heartbreak is devastating, but she's a surgeon, for goodness' sake, I wish she would just suck it up.

She even expects McDreamy to leave his wife for her. How selfish is that? And how annoying is it that he actually favors her? Why the heck does he love Meredith over his wife? There should be Team Addison tshirts made, and I'll be one of the first to buy one. If you watch the show religiously, then you will understand why.

Izzy is beginning to go crazy as well. I guess that's what a medical internship does. I know people do stupid/crazy things for love, but Grey's Anatomy has proven that surgeons do "stupid" and "crazy" magnified a hundred times. And that's saying something for people who are supposedly smarter than most of us.

Hay. I get too emotionally involved with the shows I watch on TV and in the movies. Maybe it compensates for the lack of drama in my life. And that's a good thing. :) So I can cry and bitch all I want about the dramas which do not involve me, and I can emerge from it to live my real life. Yay.

Hard Gay and Fathers Day (with subtitles)

My current YouTube addiction. Haha. This guy is so funny, and obviously not gay, which makes his character even funnier.

If you like this video (Hard Gay - Father's Day), search for even funnier videos on YouTube.

I personally like the Ramen and the TOMY toy episodes the best. But there are tons more I haven't seen yet, so...:P

Say, say, say...Hard Gay...Hoooo! :D

Hilarious. :D

What's In Store for 2007?

It has been 2 weeks into the new year, and I haven't really sat myself down to plan my life for 2007. I really should get started, though. Bleurgh. :P

New Year's Resolutions:

1. Get to work early (as in, 8:30 a.m.!) - I've been coming late to work (as in 30 minutes to an hour, late) since July of 2006. I'm just not a morning person. Blah. But for the past week into the new year, I've been consistently on time to work. Hurrah. Let's see how long this will last...Hehe.

2. Eat healthier - Now this is a bit tricky. I'm a natural eater - "natural" meaning that I eat whatever I crave, whenever I crave it. I've been trying to control my carb intake (I'm a voracious carb eater. I loveLOVElove carbs), and I've been staying away from junk food (*sniff* I miss Ruffles). 19 days into the New Year and I broke this resolution. Boo to me.

3. Drink more fluids - On the average, I only drink 4 glasses of water a day: one per meal, and one more glass stretched out during the day. Yep. Very unhealthy. Reason? Tinatamad akong kumuha ng tubig sa water dispenser, at tinatamad akong mag-CR. Hehe. This year, I hope to be more hydrated, for the sake of my skin, and my internal health. Hehe. :)

4. Be thrifty. - I aim to save at least 50% of my monthly salary. 60% if I can really put my mind into it. And I will put all of my savings into worthy investments. :) High five!

That's it, for now. Through these 4 resolutions, I aim to improve different aspects of my life: professional, health, social and financial. They all inter-connect together anyhow. :) Hehe. Good luck to me!


Things To Do:

1. Design Greenfields house! Look for inspirational images! Get started on the concept! Impress parents! Hehe. My first house project is my family's house. Well, my parent's retirement house daw. I have to finish this before I leave this August.

2. Get my room renovation over and done with! I so want to fix my room: to get all of my precious books, my shot glass collection, my Architectural Record magazines and my picture frames into nice shelves; to have a study table that I could actually use; and to have a really nice, and very functional bedside table.

3. Fix UK stuff. Confirm my place in UCL. Apply for accommodations. Apply for a visa. Get required books. Actually get the guts to do all of the above.

4. Arrange nice vacation for me, Mark and our friends. We have to have an out-of-Luzon trip during Mark's summer, and before I leave. More than one, if time and money permits it. :)

5. Think of a way to celebrate my birthday this year. Hmmm.

Ah. I'm sure I have lot more things that I have to do. Thinking of them gives me a headache. But they're all very exciting, very new things, so it's a happy headache. Haha. If there is such a thing.

Hurrah for 2007!

Grow already!!!

AAAAARGH.

I can't wait for my hair to grow out!!!

It's currently in a very alanganin stage where it curls in every which direction it wants! And the bangs aren't looking too good, either: it looks really weird because I have wisps of tikwas hair that are shorter than the rest of my tikwas hair. I look like Farah Fawcett with a very bad hair day.

And recently, I have bad hair days every single day! Let's just say that I would rather keep all of my holiday celebration pictures to myself. Hay.

ARGH. Grow already!

PARK(ing) Day

Tina sent this link through the arki2004 yahoogroups. Verrry interesting. :)

PARK(ing) is an investigation into reprogramming a typical unit of private vehicular space by leasing a metered parking spot for public recreational activity.

We identified a site in an area of downtown San Francisco that is underserved by public outdoor space and is an ideal, sunny location between the hours of noon and 2 p.m. There we installed a small, temporary public park that provided nature, seating, and shade.

Our goal was to transform a parking spot into a PARK(ing) space, thereby temporarily expanding the public realm and improving the quality of urban human habitat, at least until the meter ran out.

I think it would be great if someone here in the Philippines could do something like that...as a personal project, a school project, or even a company-sponsored one. It's a very simple, yet very inspired idea. :) I'd do it if anyone else is interested in doing it with me. :) The MMDA will probably be breathing down our backs, though. But that's part of the challenge too, right?

A few groups around the world have taken the big step and have used this PARK(ing) project as their inspiration for their own projects. Others who have PARK(ed):







John Gilbert Architects

Glasgow, Scotland

RYF Organization

Trapani, Sicily

Santa Monica Rec. & Parks Commission

Santa Monica, California

Hello? Calling out to U.P. College of Architecture! Hehe. :)

Check out the VIDEO TRAILER as well as the PICTURES. Their website also has a how-to file to help out aspiring PARK(er)s. :)

Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again

Dearest MacMacky,

I miss you.

It's been (almost) 2 months since you've been gone, but I can still vividly picture you in my mind as if you're still here. Sometimes, I even half-expect to see you sleeping on the floor beside my bed, or to see you panting and slobbering everywhere. :)

It's really hard to forget you, you know. It hurts most especially in the morning as I leave for work; and at night when I get home. Up til now, my days never seem to be complete without you: No more slobbery-happy face to see me off in the mornings; no more slobbery-happy face to welcome me at night. :(

I was at Eastwood City tonight, and I got to see some people with their pet dogs, walking around the mall. I always planned to bring you there before. You would've loved to walk around and pee everywhere you wanted to. And I could just imagine you backing away from the escalator, as you were always afraid of heights. Hehe. I'm really sorry that I wasn't able to bring you there...or to Tiendesitas...or to the U.P. Acad Oval. That would've been fun, eh?

Up til now, I still cannot understand why you are gone. I admit that there are times when I am angry at God for taking you away, especially when He knew that I explicitly prayed for your long life and your health; especially when He knew how much I loved you. He's really unfair sometimes, isn't He. :(

I guess people don't understand why I still get so depressed over you. There are times during the day when I would miss you all of a sudden: fleeting moments that leave behind a large amount of pain. And the biggest factor for my depression is guilt: I still blame myself, even if everyone tells me I shouldn't. I can't help feeling this way...I'm responsible for your life; that should ultimately make me responsible for your death as well. :(

Losing 2 dogs in a span of one month doesn't exactly put me in the best light. People either think that I am very unfortunate, and they will sympathize with me; or they think that I did not do a very good job of taking care of you and Petunia. It breaks my heart when people say "Baka naman di mo inaalagaan" (and there are people who have said that to my face). I get hurt because it undermines my love for the 2 of you, and because I'm afraid that some part of it might be true; that maybe it's my fault that you and Petunia are gone.

:'(
*sigh*

Macmackyboyboyboyboy, there are SO many things that I want to say to you: I'm sorry. I wish you were here. I miss you. I love you. I hope you and Petunia are happy there in doggie heaven. I hope you have enough shoes to chew, and enough trees to pee on. :) I hope you know that I did try to take care of you the best way I could...

I hope that someway, somehow, you could hear all of these thoughts running through my head, and that you could understand them. I'm sure that you and Pretty Petunia are in a better place because you are such good good doggies. :) Mmmwah. Amishoo.

Wish that you could've spent this New Year's with us. You'd probably be hiding under your chair, and Petunia would probably be barking up a frenzy...but at least you'd be there.

Watch it!

I watched the video (see entry below) again tonight. Wala lang, I just wanted to.

Naiyak nanaman ako. Hehe. I don't even know the couple (Andrei and Minerva!) personally, but I could see all of the love they have for each other, bursting out of that 3++ minute video. *sigh*

The song says it all: LOVELY.
(to those reading this post right now: WATCH IT! And tell me what you think!)

I wish my (future) on-site video is as touching, and as inspiring. :) Aaaah.

/me goes into senti-daydreaming-mode again...

**If you wish to see more inspiring/romantic/sweet/wow wedding videos, visit http://jasonmagbanua.com. He rocks! :)

* * * *

Lovely

by Michelle Tumes

You're the sweet dreams that soothe me

When I can't fall asleep

You're the field in the middle of the city

When I'm rushing by at the speed of light

You're the strong resolution when I find no peace

You're the church bells ringing in the evening

When all is quiet You whisper comfort

That lifts my heart

I get so weak

Chorus: Ooh You're lovely, lovely
You're the center of my universe
A thousand times I look around me and I find
Ooh You're lovely, lovely
You're the center of my universe
A million ways could not explain
You're lovely

You're the soft words that touch me

When I just can't speak

You're the breeze on the ocean in the morning

Reminding me to greet the day

You're the flowers I remember seeing in Italy

Colors through a golden haze

Bright and radiant, soft and fragrant

In the noon day sun, it makes me sing

Chorus

I understand there may be grief

And there may be pain

But I'm aware You blind the darkness

With Who You are

Because...

Chorus

Lovely

(Click image to watch video)

I've been addicted to Jason Magbanua's website for the past week, and I've been viewing the videos he has done for weddings. So his fee is a little bit steep; but his videos are brilliant, and the other videographer's works (that I've seen so far) aren't up to par. I'll definitely be saving up some moolah so that I can hire him as my wedding videographer (for the far far future). Yay.

This is my favorite video, so far. I loveLOVElove the song...very romantic. :) *sigh*

Elf Yourself!

If you're feeling like a Scrooge this Christmas season, I know of the perfect website to cheer you up.

http://www.elfyourself.com

You can turn yourself into an elf, just for kicks! Or you can turn other people (yung mga gusto mong pagtripan) into elves, and laugh at them all day long. Heehee.

HI-larious. :D

Click HERE to see the one that I did of K-Fed. Wahahaha.

Before He Cheats - Carrie Underwood

Man, this song is F-I-E-R-C-E!!! *roar*
Go Carrie! :)

Before He Cheats
Carrie Underwood


Right now he's probably slow dancing with a bleach blonde tramp,
and she's probably getting frisky.
Right now, he's probably buying her some fruity little drink
cause she can't shoot whiskey.
Right now, he's probably up behind her with a pool-stick,
showing her how to shoot a combo.
And he don't know...

That I dug my key into the side of his pretty little souped up 4 wheel drive,
carved my name into his leather seats.
I took a Louisville slugger to both head lights,
slashed a hole in all 4 tires
Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats.

Right now, she's probably up singing somewhite-trash version of Shania karoke
Right now, she's probably saying "I'm drunk"
and he's thinking that he's gonna get lucky
Right now, he's probably dabbing on 3 dollars worth of that bathroom polo.
And he don't know...

That I dug my key into the side of his pretty little souped up 4 wheel drive,
carved my name into his leather seats
I took a Louisville slugger to both head lights,
slashed a hole in all 4 tires
Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats.

I might have saved a little trouble for the next girl,
Cause the next time that he cheats.
Oh, you know it won't be on me!
Ohh... not on me.

Insomniac

It's 4:12 a.m., and I can't sleep. This is really weird, considering that I have been out drinking last night and my head feels like it's filled with lead. I'm thinking about so many things, and my brain doesn't seem to want to rest. Boo. I really should learn to stop worrying too much.

One of the things I'm getting all wound up about: Graduate school.

Two weeks ago, I had a telephone interview for one of the courses I applied to at UCL. The course director told me right then and there (after interviewing me for an hour!) that he was recommending me for admission into his course. He said that he thought my answers were good (bola skills from U.P. do come in handy), and that I would fit nicely into the course. Yay. So I'll be receiving the offer for admission anytime soon.

Also, I submitted an essay for the other UCL course I had applied to (as requested by the course director). No word from their department yet. Maybe they didn't like what I wrote (about indoor environmental quality. Blah). 2000 words of technical hoohah. At least I learned a lot while researching for that shiteous essay.

I also got accepted into the University of Sydney just last September. The application process for that was pretty quick, though. I submitted the application form, along with other requirements (diploma, transcript, IELTS result etc), and I received a firm offer of admission ONE WEEK after I sent it out through FedEx. That's it? Go figure.

But that doesn't matter anyhow, because I'm leaning more towards UCL. I haven't even received my admissions letter yet, and I can visualize myself roaming the streets of London, all bundled up, blowing steam out of my mouth. Whee. I am going to freeze to death in that place. It's weird that I'm looking forward to that.

Is it crazy that I'm prepping myself for this trip even before I have even confirmed it? I'm stocking up on winter coats, and they're only gathering dust in my closet (when would I be able to wear a (faux)fur-lined coat here in Manila?!); I'm compiling a "leaving on a jet plane" playlist on my iPod (Makita Kang Muli, Don't Forget to Remember Me, etc. just to give you a preview. Harhar).

I haven't been away from my family for more than a week. I have never lived away from home in all my 24 years. How the hell do I expect to survive living in a foreign country, all by myself, for a whole frickin' year?!?! I must be crazy.

I have only been an average student in college. Not even close to honors. And I procrastinate to death. How in the world will I go through graduate school?? I must be delusional. I had better switch myself to *nerd* mode for a year.

10 months away, and I'm having an anxiety attack.

It's Here!

Dell Inspiron E1505
....
Isn't she beyootiful? :) and she's aaaaall mine. *sigh* :)

The Other Boleyn Girl

They're making a Hollywood adaptation of Philippa Gregory's The Other Boleyn Girl.



Yay.

Natalie Portman is playing the part of Anne Boleyn.
Scarlett Johansson is playing Mary Boleyn (the other Boleyn girl, of course).
...and Eric Bana as Henry VIII.

I'm not sure whether I like the casting choices...while reading the book, I always pictured Mary as the smaller sister; Scarlett Johansson is anything but small. :P Anne Boleyn is the evil bitch/slut/temptress...can Natalie Portman pull that off? Aaaand, Henry VIII is definitely not as hot as Eric Bana, especially at the end of the book (movie) where he supposedly ages and gets really fat and DOM-ish. Hahaha.

Lovelovelove the book. Hope I'll love the movie, too.

It's just not the same anymore...

It's been a long while since I last updated this blog. October 4th, as indicated in my previous entry below.

How I wish I could go back to that day...or to any point before October 11, 2006.

I know it's futile to try to change the past. But I just want to change 2 things. Please let me change 2 things...

Please let me go back to the time when MacMacky and Pretty Petunia were still alive.

Please. :'(

I MISS THEM SO MUCH, IT HURTS.

The Queen

I'm looking forward to watching The Queen starring Hellen Mirren. It's basically about Queen Elizabeth II - her untold story during the time of Princess Diana's death. I saw the trailer, and it was absolutely intriguing. Aaaah. I love stories about the British monarchy.

Another movie I'm curious about is Marie Antoinette, yet another monarchy story (French, this time).

I don't know what triggered my love for stories like these. THe story of King Arthur and his Round Table, perhaps? Sleeping Beauty? So far I've read historical fiction based on characters from the 16th century: The Other Boleyn Girl which revolves around the Boleyn sisters Mary and Anne (as in Anne Boleyn, wife of Henry VIII of England, and mother of Queen Elizabeth I); and the Courtesan which is a fictional story based on the life of Diane de Poiters, mistress of Henri II of France.

Sir Ozaeta says that I was a duchess in my past life (Wait, what is the lowest title, duchess or countess?) Maybe that's why I feel so attune to these "royalty" stories. Haha. Feeling. That would've been so cool, though. I mean, I wouldn't want to live in those times (too stuffy and too superficial sometimes), but it would've been fun to be nobility. :)

Rainy mondays are CRAP.

Ang panget PANGET PANGET ng araw na 'to.

I felt really pathetic. I felt angry, sad and scared all within one day.

It was hell day at work.
Our group didn't make our deadline.
One of my groupmates and I are not on good terms. (Ewan ko sayo. Sayang ang effort!)
I had OT till 10 p.m. (when I had planned to leave at 7:30!)
When I left the office, I thought: "Finally. I can go home and relax."

But fate had other plans for me.

Wala akong masakyan na FX.
Lahat ng taxi na dumadaan may sakay.
And aside from those 2 modes of transporation, I didn't know how else to go home.

I ended up standing stupidly by the side of the road for 45 minutes.
I was close to tears, because it was getting late, and I didn't know what to do.
Ewan. Nakakatakot talaga pag di mo alam ang gagawin, at kung lahat ng naisip mo na options eh hindi puwede.

And so, with no clear thought in my head, I started walking.
It was late; it was dark and damp.
I was all by myself.
And I was crying.

Yes. Big, spoiled baby here was crying.
I just felt so stupid, so alone, and so LOST.

It was the worst feeling in the world.
Plus, it was humiliating to be walking around the streets of Makati with a stricken look on my face and tears streaming down my cheeks. :(

More unfortunate events happened after that. As in, kamalasan talaga.
As in, uwing-uwi na talaga ako, pero ang daming nangyayaring masama at lalong napapatagal pag-uwi ko.
Pero ayoko na mag-expound. Matutulog nalang ako.

That should officially end my bad day.
Para bukas eh panibagong araw na.



*wishing I could skip work tomorrow and mope.

Surprise, Surprise

"Anong oras ka uwi? There's a surprise for u here."

My mom texted that to me last night as I was on my way home from work. Immediately, my mind started formulating scenarios I'd like to be "surprised" with. There were a lot of things that entered my mind, especially as it took 30 minutes for the FX I was riding to fill up, and another 30 minutes for it to reach my village.

(Argh. I have a love-hate relationship with surprises. I loooove getting surprises, but I haaaaate the anxiety it creates, especially when you're warned before hand. Excitement --> Anxiety --> Disappointment. Boo.)

Just a few things that popped up:

1. My mom found some International Reply Coupons that I've been bugging her about for days. PhilPost has discontinued the production of these coupons, and I've been at wit's end tyring to figure out what to do as these coupons are a requirement for my UCL application which is due this month...
2. My brother brought home a box of Rowena's Buko Tarts from Tagaytay. But then I remembered that he wouldn't be coming home till Wednesday night. Poo.
3. My mom managed to bring home Prince William and somehow convinced Queen Elizabeth that I would be his perfect match, royal blood or no royal blood. OK, so maybe that's carrying my daydreams too far. Hehe.
4. That by some miracle, I have been awarded a full scholarship at any foreign school of my choice, regardless of the fact that I still haven't mailed out my application form yet. Hay. That would've been sooo cool.

As I drew nearer to home, I started bringing down all my high hopes in fear that I'll be disappointed (I was really really rooting for my car daydream to win). It was only when I was already 20 meters from the gate of my house that I figured out what my surprise could be...

The iHome system I had ordered from the States!

And I was right! It has arrived! Yay. :)

Prince William still would've been really nice, though. But maybe I'm only alotted 1 surprise a day. :D Hope I get another one tonight! A good one, please!

Lessons Learned

Ang ganda talaga ng songs sa album ni Carrie Underwood. :)
Here's just one of my favorites...Lessons Learned from the album "Some Hearts." I don't really know which lines to highlight because they all ring true for me (and I'm sure all of you can relate to it too). Enjoy!

Lessons Learned
by Carrie Underwood

There's some things that I regret,
Some words I wish had gone unsaid,
Some starts,
That had some bitter endings,
Been some bad times I've been through,
Damage I cannot undo,
Some things,
I wish I could do all all over again,
But it don't really matter,
Life gets that much harder,
It makes you that much stronger,
Oh, some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were,
Lessons learned.

[CHORUS:]
And every tear that had to fall from my eyes,
Everyday I wondered how I'd get through the night,
Every change, life has thrown me,
I'm thankful, for every break in my heart,
I'm grateful, for every scar,
Some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were lessons learned.

There's mistakes that I have made,
Some chances I just threw away,
Some roads,
I never should've taken,
Been some signs I didn't see,
Hearts that I hurt needlessly,
Some wounds,
That I wish I could have one more chance to mend,
But it don't make no difference,
The past can't be rewritten,
You get the life you're given,
Oh, some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were,
Lessons learned.

-CHORUS-

And all the things that break you,
All the things that make you strong,
You can't change the past,
Cause it's gone,
And you just gotta move on,
Because it's all,
Lessons learned.

-CHORUS-

Cruel Tide

My relationships with certain people are weird.

I'm not a naturally friendly person, and I come off as aloof to most people who meet me for the first time. The usual first-impressions I get are either tahimik or mataray. I'm getting mataray more frequently now, especially here in the office, and usually among the males. I don't really mind.

Over the years, I've learned that being too openly nice gets one into trouble sometimes (Please see my Good Guys Finish Last entry). I guess my outlook in life has changed ever since I started working. I've become jaded and guarded...and, well...bitchy.

Once you get past that mataray persona, though, you 'll see that I'm actually very easy to get along with. Really. I'll listen when you need me to listen; I'll tell jokes when you're in need of a laugh (My joke delivery skills have improved since college, I swear! Or so they say...); and I'll protect you fiercely when others have come to prey.

Ideal as that may all sound, I must admit that a friendship with me is very hard to maintain. Neglect me for too long, and the icy layer that has taken a while to thaw will freeze over again. Hmmm. Or maybe it all really depends on the friend. Or maybe it all really depends on me!

Maybe there are some friends that are meant to stay forever; and then some who are just there for the short run. There are friends whom I would give my best efforts to keep close ties with; and some that I just allow to drift away.

In the course of my life, I've had several friends who have been close to me at one time or the other. But there are only a few people who have remained close to me over the years. Close in a sense that I still feel comfortable with them even if I haven't seen them in months (or years). Close in a sense that I did not allow them to drift away, even if the tide was strong.

I wonder now, how come I didn't try to prevent the tide of time from taking them all away? Why just a select few? Is that the reason why I hold new acquaintances at arm's length? Because I'm afraid that they could come too close, only to be whisked away by the tide again?

What's my point?

Past friends have been lovely. Though it's hard to bring back old camaraderie, nostalgia is always a warm feeling. Future friends are always welcome. Present friends are a blessing. And I'm hoping that I'm not daft enough to let any of you drift away. :)

Tracking

I sent some documents to Australia last week through courier, see. And tonight, I checked its delivery status online, and I got this report:



It has arrived at its target destination!

Wala lang, naaliw lang ako sa tracking service ng FedEx. Harhar. Babaw. Ang LBC ba may ganun din? Or Aboitiz? Hehe.

Things-to-do:

1. Finish working drawings for Mac and Petunia doggie house!
(deadline: August 31)
2. Make photo slideshow / PowerPoint presentation for seastarr's debut.
(deadline: September 1)
3. Get reference letters from Ma'am MLV and big boss.
(deadline: September 2)
4. Get UCL reference letter envelope from Michelle.
(deadline: September 2)
5. Write personal statement for UCL application.
(deadline: September 4)
6. Talk to parents about real-estate investments.
(deadline: open-ended)
7. Think about condo interior design decision.
(deadline: when my dad pressures me about it)
8. Get some sleep.
(deadline: whenever possible)

Walang sense ang post na to. Matutulog na nga ako, para maaga naman ako makapasok sa office (sana). Nag-exceed na kasi ako ng maximum tardiness for the month of August. My 2nd warning, so far. Come 3rd, I'll be suspended for a week. Which isn't so bad. One week of rest is somewhat appealing. Hmmm. *evil grin*

First post after a month-long blog-hiatus, and I'm rambling. :P

"Quotes"

"I remember when, I remember, I remember when I lost my mind. There was something so pleasant about that phase. Even your emotions have an echo in so much space."

-- excerpt from "Crazy" by Gnarles Barkley

* * * *

I'm so busy nowadays that my thoughts are just a series of quotes. Quotes that stand out in my mind while I'm watching a show; lines from songs while listening to the radio; blurbs from books that I'm reading...

"So much of what I see reminds me of something I read in a book, when shouldn't it be the other way around?" (Meg Ryan in You've Got Mail)

Yeah. It should be the other way around. You should be able to read a book, listen to a song, watch a movie, and then clutch your heart and weep internally because it describes your (love)life to a T. It usually takes a song to make you sit up and say, "Hey, I'm feeling that. I can so relate." Think along the lines of Killing Me Softly. It's exactly like Killing Me Softly.

Why do we relate our lives to words that other people have written? Because it's easier to just listen, that's why.

Sit back --> Listen --> Connect.
No complications.
Internal suffering without the hard work.
Other people write it. You just cry over it.

I go around searching for familiar words from unfamiliar people's mouths. Collecting a string of mismatching songs in my head, and playing them back as the soundtrack of my life. Relying on other (unsuspecting) people to tell my story, when they only really want to tell theirs.

Maybe my brain is too tired to generate original thoughts? Or maybe it's another form of deja vu wherein my mind takes comfort in hearing familiar situations in other people's words. Why is it that other people can describe what I am feeling in such a precise way? My words never seem to measure up to the feeling I am trying to emulate. Words never seem to be enough.

"I guess the most important things are the hardest things to say. They are the things you get ashamed of because words diminish them. Words shrink things that seemed timeless when they were in your head, to no more than the living size when they are brought out."

I can blurt out a million words to describe my feelings, my emotions. But there will always be a million more left unsaid, words that remain inside of me. They will be solely mine to feel, exclusively mine to experience.

And that makes me feel better, somewhat.

If it is so easy to snatch quotes from other people, then words can never be truly yours. The emotions I feel: they are mine. And I accept that they are never meant to be described; never meant to be understood by anyone other than me.

Feel-good Crying

There's no doubt about it: my top tear-jerker movie of all time is ARMAGGEDON. No contest.

I was fortunate enough to get home early to catch the flick on Star Movies last night.

Tears were already streaming down my face (like a mini-waterfall! Haha) during the first 30 minutes. Into the half of the movie, I was already emitting weird hiccup-y sounds along with more tears (still a steady waterfall).

Near the end -- Oh, you know that part. The part where Harry (Bruce Willis' character) makes the ultimate sacrifice for mankind, and for his daughter. Up to the part where he says goodbye to her on screen and when she finally calls him "Daddy." -- my hiccup-y sounds turned into full-scale howling. Unabashed bawling. Heart-wrenching sobs.

Hay. That felt really good. Hehe. :)

"What is it about sadness that can be so fulfilling" (The Girls by Lori Lansens)

The Lake House

"What if you found the one you were meant for...But you lived two years apart..."

A movie to look forward to.

The trailer was so sad, romantic...and surreal. Sana ako rin may ganyan...*sigh*

I'll probably be crying while watching this. Hehe.

Ala-Somewhere In Time. Or if you're more attune to the local movies...ala-Moments of Love. :P Wahahaha.

I'm so excited. :)

Getting ready to smile, cry and fall inlove. :)

UCL or bust?

I received my Graduate Application Packet from University College London (UCL) two days ago.

Ang galing.

I have been playing with the idea of Graduate School for some time now. I was thinking of applying to NUS (National University of Singapore), since it's near, it's cheaper, and the weather suits me perfectly. But now, I'm presented with the option of LONDON. UK. The land of royalty. Prince William! Europe! Who am I to pass up that opportunity???

Of course, I still have to get accepted. And that's a really big project to work on. And I'll have to deal with the issue of loneliness and freezing my butt off, when (or IF?) I get accepted into UCL.

I'm scared as heck. But the idea of something new excites me to the core.

Whee. UK, here I come???

*sigh*

Oh, Lonely Night

Friday night, 11:30 p.m. I'm in the car, all alone, driving home from work with my Hale CD as my only companion. "Kung Wala Ka" starts playing, and suddenly, the road seems too long; the night seems too dark and cold; my car feels too big and empty. Bah. Another bout of loneliness has hit me, and I don't like it one bit. :(

Is it the full moon today? Because I have this unexplicable urge to mope.

Hay. It's weird how those Hale songs get to me.

It's the only CD in my car, so Hale is the soundtrack of my life on my mad days, my frustrated days, my pikon days, my smiley days, and most especially my sad days.






Oh well. Tomorrow's another day with my car (and with it, my Hale CD). I wonder what kind of day it will be?

Elliott Yamin is My American Idol

I became a certified Elliott Yamin fan when he sang "If You Really Love Me" during the first semi-finals round. I wasn't able to watch the Hollywood Episodes, so I wasn't aware of this guy's great talent. When I saw him a few moments before he sang, I immediately chalked him up as one of the underdogs, just because of his not-so-stellar looks. And the moment he opened his mouth to sing, I was speechless. Serves me right for judging someone by his appearance. :p

A quote from an article in MSNBC “Whatever he may lack in stage presence, he has more than made up for that in his absolutely authentic, modest and humble personality,” said his cousin, Chuck Lessin, who went to see Yamin perform last month. Ah, how true! Humble Elliott, God bless his good soul. :)

He's obviously the underdog in American Idol 5, especially when compared to Katharine McPhee and Chris Daughtry (who both have great talent...and they're not so hard to look at, either), or to Taylor Hicks (who has his "unique" look and personality doing wonders for his popularity ratings). But EVERY SINGLE WEEK, Elliot keeps on surprising everyone. His fan base seems to be growing every week! It's too bad I can't vote, because I'll spend a fortune just making sure that he wins the Idol crown. :D

Napapangiti ako everytime he sings (haha, cheesy). And even though most of his songs are unknown to me, I end up enjoying each and every one his performances. Come to think of it, there's no other Idol finalist that I look forward to watching perform than Elliott. :)

Another quote...ah, this is so cute: “I always said Elliott was my little lost boy because he never found anything that made him happy,” said Claudette Yamin. “He just never found his niche. And, I guess this is it. I guess this it what he’s been striving for all his life.”

Hooray for Elliott Yamin! Ang galing galing niya, ang bait bait pa (hehe, close kami?).

I really really hope he wins. :)

Mushy Mushy Love Quotes

I've been looking for quotes all evening (up till the morning) for a Powerpoint presentation I'm preparing for my parents' Silver Wedding Anniversary. I've seen lots of really nice lines...Let me share some of them with you...

Kinda mushy, some.

But, oh, how they ring true.

* * * *

Love is an act of endless forgiveness, a tender look which becomes a habit. Peter Ustinov (1921 - 2004)

They say old habits die hard. Sometimes, though, when you're so used to doing them, you take them for granted. And instead of feeling comfortable, it feels tiresome. Love shouldn't be a habit; there should always be constant improvement.

But then, tender looks are always nice. :)

* * * *

How we treasure (and admire) the people who acknowledge us!
Julie Morgenstern, O Magazine, Belatedly Yours, January 2004

Ever notice how some people are so easily swayed by a kind word or a flattering gesture? I think I'm one of them. Is it really so bad to feel warm and fuzzy all over when someone gives an extra effort to show you that you are special? Hehe. Hindi sa KSP ako ah...

* * * *

Think about a woman. Doesn't know you're thinking about her. Doesn't care you're thinking about her. Makes you think about her even more.
Martin Sage and Sybil Adelman, Northern Exposure, The Bumpy Road to Love, 1991

Haha! Unrequited love. The story of everyone's lives, whether you're single or in a relationship. :/

* * * *

I believe love is primarily a choice and only sometimes a feeling. If you want to feel love, choose to love and be patient.
Real Live Preacher, RealLivePreacher.com Weblog, December 16, 2002

Not many people are patient. Actually, patience is a scarce thing nowadays when everything is so convenient and instantaneous. People should re-learn how to wait...It's in that time that you get to appreciate what you have; it is when you figure out how hard you should work to get at what you are striving to get.

* * * *

Love isn't a decision. It's a feeling. If we could decide who we loved, it would be much simpler, but much less magical.
Trey Parker and Matt Stone, South Park, Chef Aid, 1998

Even if this quote is a contradiction to the one before it, it is still true (and isn't that what love is? A constant contradiction? Misunderstood? Unpredictable? Confusing?).

Who Else?

A week ago, I found out that a family friend of ours, who's 14-years old, doesn't believe in God. Or in a god. A 14-year old atheist?

It's difficult to understand how there are some people out there who don't believe that God - or any other higher being - exists.



How uninspiring it must feel to see beautiful sunsets, the turquoise sea, and silvery moonlights, thinking that they are products of atoms instead of believing that they are miracles.

How unfulfilling it must be like to live your life day after day, believing that there is no heaven to look forward to after death.

And how lonely it must feel to suffer, to feel pain, to cry, thinking that you are all alone in your grief.

For who else, but God (or the god you believe in), can really be with you in all your sad moments?
Who else, but God, knows the exact moment when your heart breaks?
Who else, but God, knows exactly how it feels?
Who else, but God, understands?

[*Disclaimer: This entry is not meant to be a religious stand. More of...an emotional reflection, really. :) And it isn't meant to condescend on other religions. The term "God" refers to any higher being that any religion believes in. Leni, linagyan ko na ng disclaimer kasi baka mga hindi ko na kakilala ang magcomment, mas mahirap. Haha. Iklaro ko lang kasi baka magka-scandal. Hahaha.]

AI, You Make Me Smile

Elliott Yamin
So he's not the best looking
person in the bunch.
But when he sings...
Ahhh.:)
It's refreshing (coool...).
It makes ME smile.

His mom says he has a
GOOD SOUL.
And he really looks like
he has a good soul.
Cool and Sensitive Elliot.
You have GOT to love that. :)

Katharine McPhee
Pretty pretty Katharine
with the amazing cheekbones
the sweet smile
and the unbelievable voice.

Each week she just gets
better and better
(and prettier and prettier).
Watching her perform
is AMAZING. GREAT. AWESOME.

No wonder her dad cries
everytime she sings. :)

Have you got the McPheever??






Vote for them puhleeeeaase
(because I can't. Hehe.)




Icons by laughtur
Check out her site. She's got great stuff...
Where do these people find time to make really nice graphics?!
Gimme some of that free time, please.

Lost March

March update, published below (see "Blogger Delinquent" post).

Matagal na kasi naka-Draft form...ngayon ko lang natapos. Hehehe. :)

Summmmeeeeerrrrr.

Don't ask me why my forehead is all scrunched up, though. I think I was trying to figure out how to blog about Palawan.

Words are simply not enough.

Chronicles of Palawan coming soon (I hope).

The Case of the Lost Bikini Top

We're leaving for Palawan in a few hours (8 hours, to be exact).

My feeling of excitement is gone, and it is annoyingly replaced by a feeling of anger and anxiety.

My favorite bikini top is lost.

My sister used it last week for her trip to Batangas, and now, she's not sure if she was able to bring it home.

Great. $24 (for the friggin' top only!) down the drain (and out to sea...).

They'd better find it, or else...

Or else I'll be running topless in Palawan. Harhar. Just kidding.





This sucks.

Over Overtime

It's 2:30 A.M.

Still in the office.

No car. Will take a taxi or hitch a ride with someone.

Will get home at around 3:30 A.M.

Have to leave house at 6:30 A.M. to get to Makati by 8:00 A.M.

(Should I sleep? If I do, will I wake up on time?)

Have a meeting with client at 8:30 A.M.

Hoping I don't accidentally yawn while presiding.





This is SO not good.

Zzzzzz....

Frustrated Web Designer. :(

Aaaaah! I've spent (almost) the whole day in front of this computer, trying to fix my blog. I've looked at hundreds of web tutorials, thousands of blog inspirations...but did I get any work done? NADA.

I'm sad. :(

Gone are the days of simple NOTEPAD HTML EDITING. *sigh* That's what I used to do, anyway. Now there are all sorts of template generators. And when I try to edit the HTML, I have to weave through all sorts of useless tags.

I was able to do a pretty header, at least. I just can't figure out how to place it on my site. Whenever I try, it doesn't fit! And the simple "width" or "height" parameters won't work. Whyyyy?!



I know it doesn't look that great. But it's simple enough for my taste. For now.

I saw this really reaally really GREAT blog. Great graphics. Very streamlined layout. Gaaah. She's my idol. I want to make headers just like she does. *pout* Check out Karen Cheng's Blog. I am jealous. I admire her. She makes me want to become a better blogger. Heehee. :)

help me.