Bittersweet February

There's always something special about the month of February. Special events are crammed into the shortest month of the year. Valentine's Day of course, always comes to mind. As does Chinese New Year. And who can forget my birthday? Hehe. Well, at least it's special to me. :p

Something strange also happens: When February hits, I always turn into the best and the worst version of myself.

I become the bitchiest, the most temperamental, the most emotional, the happiest, the most depressed, the calmest, the most erratic, the craziest, the silliest, the most complicated woman you can ever imagine. And saying *that* is redundant in itself.

I think it's the cool climate. Or maybe the evident stress hanging in the air brought on by all these "special events." Maybe it's the anticipation. Maybe it's all the expectations.

February is probably the most emotionally draining time of the year for me. It is the time when I get my hopes high; when I get the biggest adrenaline rush in my life; when I crash down the hardest; when I break my heart a million times over. It is when I expect too much; when I set myself up for disappointment; when I cry like a woman is wont to do when she is hurt.

February is bittersweet. All my happiness, all my fears, all my passion, all my pain, and all my sadness...contained in 28 days! It can overwhelm anyone, I'm sure. But I'm proud to say that I have survived it every year, and I emerge as a wiser, stronger person because of it.

February is bittersweet. It is when I wake up alternately happy and sad; It is when I feel the loneliest and when I feel the most loved. Contradicting (or crazy) as of all that may seem, all of that is what makes February special to me.

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Beautiful things happen in February. I just have to focus on that.