A Birthday Beyond Expectations

I celebrated my 30th birthday in Melbourne, Australia.

Now doesn't that sound so exciting? It was my birthday gift for myself, and it was also timely that one of my good friends from highschool was getting married there on the same week. I have been planning it since around 4 months back (of course, since I had to apply for a visa and book a ticket), and I was expecting it to be an awesome birthday adventure Down Under. It did not disappoint.

Getting lost in the streets of Melbourne

It was my first time to travel so far by myself (the farthest before that was to Guam, U.S.A.), and I spent most of my 10 days there "getting lost" in the streets of Melbourne, taking solo walking tours and experiencing the city on my own. The day itself was pretty memorable: I spent the day walking around Melbourne, camera and map in tow; it was also the day my iPhone fell into the sewer (on a rainy day!), died for a couple of hours, and was revived miraculously a couple of hours later. That night, my friend Kat gathered some of her friends and family to have a buffet dinner with me at Kitchen Workshop. It was a simple get-together with old and new friends, and a great way to cap off my 30th birthday celebration.

Birthday dinner with new friends 

Of course, there were the little heartwarming moments that made my birthday extra special: a Skype call from my family in Manila at 12 midnight on the dot; and a birthday cake with a humongous candle care of Kat's family, when we got home from our dinner. :)

The biggest birthday cake candle I've seen in mah life

It was an epic event in my life; it was when I truly focused on myself, did things that made me happy, and the time when I looked at life in a more positive way.

I found ♥ in the streets of Melbourne

Every year, I celebrate my birthday very differently from the previous one. Maybe it's because so many things change in a year and my interests also change; maybe it's also because I get restless a lot, and I always want to improve on my life experiences.

Spent my 29th birthday here with these kiddos

My family and friends who helped me with my birthday outreach!

Spent my 30th birthday at Relik with THESE kiddos. LOL.

Every year is special, and every year is always fun. :) This year, though, I decided to just spend my birthday here in Manila. I also didn't want a big party. Big parties entail big funds (which I am trying to spend responsibly for my future haha), intense planning (which I do not have time for because of work), and high expectations (which I cannot afford to have, because I will just be setting myself up for disappointment).

And so, this year, on an insignificantly numbered year (31), I was planning on having a laid-back birthday. No big plans. No big expectations. I was satisfied with just having a simple celebration with friends and family.

However, so much has changed this past year: I've met new friends, gotten even closer to some of them, and drifted apart from some others. 2012 was also the year I met and got to know my boyfriend, Ton, so that's a big and happy change. :) My family and I have also moved to a new house (a house I designed, hurrah!), and I've been reassigned to a new project. All of these factors come into play with what the heavens have got planned for my 31st birthday.

First-off, my boyfriend wasn't going to let my 31st birthday be insignificant, that's for sure. Ton is a show-stopper, and he was not going to let my birthday be another run-of-the-mill inuman. Haha. Secondly, my family missed having to celebrate my 30th birthday with me, and they weren't about to let this one slip past their fingers again. And lastly, my loyal and loving staff from my current project has never celebrated my birthday with me in the past 3 years of working with me (2 years ago I spent my birthday in Baguio for the Panagbenga, then last year I was in Melbourne), so I really didn't know what to expect, spending my birthday at work for the first time. I guess I expected to just work. Haha.

February 25, 2 days before my birthday: I made last minute plans for a small get-together at Relik, during their Akoustika Mondays. Nothing big, just something to relieve Monday stress. :) We used to be regular patrons of Akoustika...as in, EVERY MONDAY NIGHT we would be there to drink, relax and sing. We've been busy lately, though, so we've been absent for quite awhile. I thought a pre-birthday celebration would be a nice time to come back. :)

Thanks to those who were able to come even with the late invitation!

Thanks to the Entourage boys for singing for me! :) "Mr. Brightside" never sounded so good! Haha!

February 26, the day before my birthday: Since we were all up late on a work night, I told Ton that I wanted to relax the following day. We just had a simple dinner at Grams Diner, then proceeded to Bugsy's to make an appearance at his co-worker's birthday inuman.

I was telling Ton that I could not feel that it was my birthday. It was like a normal day/night for me. 31 is a pretty odd number, and after passing the milestone of 30 years, I didn't think that another year would really be more significant. Haha. I guess I was having the birthday blues. After years of trying to avoid that damn thing, it sneaks up on me again.

But that would soon change. As soon as we reached the top of the stairs of Bugsy's, shouts of "Happy Birthday!" and "SURPRISE!" greeted me. My friends from high school, college, MBA, the Entourage, and my family, were there! I was amazed at how Ton got everybody together, even if he just met some of them once. He really has the ability to remember every detail of my life, and every person that I introduce him to. Turns out, he has been planning this for about a month already, and he contacted everybody through Facebook (of course).

SURPRISE! :)

Thank you to everyone who took time from their busy weekday schedule to come and surprise me on my birthday salubong! And for keeping all of this a secret for a whole month! Ang tatag nyo! Nag-tampo pa man din ako sa marami sa inyo dahil di kayo pumunta sa aking impromptu pre-birthday inuman. Haha!

Even my family was there at the party! (sans Laurence. Hmp)

February 27, MY BIRTHDAY!: Having had a blast at the party the previous night, I wasn't really expecting much on my birthday itself. I planned to have some food delivered to the office for a simple salo-salo with my staff; and then dinner with my family at Village Tavern. :) I guess my staff had other plans; after being on "birthday leave" for the past 3 birthdays, they weren't going to let me off the hook so easily on my first birthday at work:

Di pa ako nagsusuklay, may surprise na!

Sweet!

They also tried to distract me by taking me on a site inspection so early in the morning! I had surprises waiting for me at the project site as well:

DATEM workers singing me a happy birthday! :)

Spent around 30-40 minutes walking around the site, clueless about the surprise waiting for me back in the office...

Coming down from the site, I saw all of my site architects, engineers and staff lined-up in front of the office, waiting for me:

They all had a WHITE rose for me! Parang debut lang! Haha!

I honestly thought that that was all there is to it: my staff giving me roses one-by-one, getting a photo taken with each of them, and hearing birthday greetings and wishes from all of them. The biggest surprise was still waiting for me behind the door, though. I looked back towards the office and there was Ton, standing there with the 31st (red) rose. ♥

The look of love and surprise! Haha!

It was the sort of thing that I only saw in the movies. I couldn't believe it: I finally experienced my very own movie moment. It's what I have always hoped for, and it happened! To me! It just goes to show that I really should never underestimate the wonders of life: I thought things couldn't get any better, but life just handed me a big: "Hah! I proved you wrong!" in the form of roses and cake and good, well-meaning friends and family. And of course, in the form of a tall and charming Bisaya named Ton. :)

Daghang kaayong salamat. Gihigugma ta ka!

Very happy birthday girl

It was a very happy birthday indeed, one filled with so many unexpected twists. Last year, I remember blurting out (to no-one in particular): "It will be very hard to top THIS birthday!" Somewhere out there, God said: "Challenge accepted!" and proceeded to draft out a plan: a better birthday for Lesley, 365 days in the making.

I am humbled by all of the blessings I have received this past year. Words cannot describe the gratitude I feel. This birthday has been GREAT beyond expectations! And I know that next year will be even better; that is God's birthday gift to me year after year after year after year. :)

Thank You, 2012!

2012 was definitely a GREAT year for me, mostly because it was a year that I chose to be grateful, open-minded and open-hearted. 

2012 was a year of adventure: travelling around the country and around the WORLD by myself, and also with friends and family. 

2012 was a year of accomplishment: I finished my first major construction project (The Mind Museum); the first house I have ever designed was built, and we moved into it; and I graduated from my MBA! 

2012 was a year of new experiences and new beginnings: I met new friends, explored new hobbies and past-times, and partied the night away; I started a new construction project, handled more responsibility, and new love found me. :)

I will always look back at 2012 with fondness and gratitude. At the same time, I will treat 2013 with the same appreciation, thanking it for the adventure, the accomplishments, the experiences and beginnings that it will surely give me.

Goodbye, 2012! Thank you for all the love! 2013, are you ready to paint the world red with me? :) Let's go! ♥

Mothers Know Best

It amazes me sometimes how my mom worries about me being too "dedma lang." It's like she really believes that I'm this aloof, manhid person. She worries about me because she thinks I am holding back my emotions; that I am only showing this poker face, when deep inside, I have a brewing pot of emotions just waiting to explode.

She has always been bugging me to change my domain name in yahoo (dedma_lang), because for her, there's a negative connotation to being "patay malisya." For her, it's like being heartless, empty and void of all emotion.

It surprises me, because I know that this "dedma lang" persona of mine is just a front. *I* know that I am the most emotional person in the world (an exaggeration, but it shows you how ma-drama I am sometimes. Hahaha). *I* know that I am not NR -- I care. Sometimes I care too much. *I* know how affected I can be over things that are within / beyond my control. I didn't even realize that I was fulfilling this role so effectively. All the while, I thought I was a crappy poser of this "dedma lang" mantra. Maybe it has instilled itself so seamlessly into my system that I didn't notice it.

Well, maybe that's just it: *I* know I'm not really dedma, because *I* am the only one who can feel these things. I am the only one aware of my emotions. I realize that over the years, I've learned to edit my emotions -- at least, those which I show to the world. There are only a few people to whom I show my weak side. Yes, I am a sentimental / emotional / romantic girl -- I love sappy movies, happy and sad songs make me cry, and I am (not-so-secretly) wishing for my own fairy tale / movie moment(s). But that doesn't mean that every single person in the world knows that I can be reduced into a puddle of mush every time I experience heart ache. It doesn't mean that I wallow in self-pity every time things do not go my way. I may be nice; I may be considered "malumanay" and "mahinhin" by most people; I may trust too much to the point of being gullible some times; but that doesn't mean I allow other people to walk all over me.

I am hell bent on being "dedma lang" for fear of exposing too much of my being; for fear of being perceived as weak; for fear of giving too much and not getting anything back. It's self-preservation, see?

Hmm. So I guess my mom has a point. Maybe I do give off an unaffected air; maybe I do look "dedma lang." I don't know how she sees it. Mother's intuition? Or maybe my eyes convey my emotions more clearly than the rest of my face? No matter how hard I try to hide it, my mom still gets it. I hope I'm as intuitive as she is when I become a mother.

Just last month, my mom and I were bonding over lunch:

Ma: "Who took your picture, the one where you were some sort of diwata? You should ask them to take your picture again, now."

Les: "Project Nebula. Why should I ask them that?"

Ma: "Because you look so different now. In your picture, your eyes looked so sad..."

Les: "As compared to...?"

Ma: "If they took your picture again now, it's a different person altogether."

(Ma starts to get teary-eyed)

Les: "Ma! Why are you crying??"

Ma: "I'm just happy you're happy."

She didn't expound on it, but I felt that she really was relieved that I was "out of the woods." I guess, as a mom, she got caught up in the dark cloud I was in, even without me inviting her into it. She didn't want to meddle: even back then, I felt her pain in wanting to reach out, but deciding to hold back. She wanted me to figure things out for myself, I guess. And maybe - although it pained her - she felt that I would just retreat back into my shell if she even attempted to help.

She was one of the few people who noticed a change in me the past few months. I guess the change is pretty obvious -- the way my face looks more relaxed (no more perpetual frown), the way my smile looks more genuine (and how it appears on my face more often), and how my eyes light up from within (a sparkle? My pupils dilating? No more dull black void? Haha). I had risen from the dead, and she was one of the few who welcomed me back with open arms.

I guess all moms are connected to their children in an emotional level...even without words, even from afar. I appreciate it when I know she grieves with me when I'm sad...and I'm happy when she's happy for me. Even if I am the only one who understands my emotions, it is nice to know that another person empathizes with me in some way. Maybe the reason why she resents my "dedma lang" persona is because it is like a wall I put up to keep people away...on the other side of this wall are people (like her) who just want to reach out and help me deal with my emotions. Or maybe just reach out and give me a hug. :)

Mothers always know best. And she knows that all I really need (at any time, any place, happy or sad) is to know that somebody cares. :)