What is dedma?

I have been using this domain name for years. Since college (I won't say how many years ago that was...just trust me that it was a long time ago. Haha). I have used this as my mantra ever since my good, good friend Kayan (my tree-mate!) gave me this piece of advice during one of our CR crying sessions. "Dedma lang!" I forget the context of our conversation (I think it's safe to say that it was about love...or the lack thereof), but the gist was that I shouldn't get too affected by it, hence the usage of the term "dedma."

But what exactly is dedma?

I stumbled across this very useful site, wherein they got an excerpt from Jessica Zafra's Twisted. Dedma 101:

The etymology: Dedma is the attenuated form of the English words dead malice. Dead malice, in turn, is the literal translation of the Tagalog expression, patay malisya. It is conjugated thus: dedma, dinedma, dededmahin.

Huh. I never knew that! Hehehe. We learn something new everyday! :)

To break it down more specifically, there are 3 definitions of "dedma:"

1. To completely ignore/feign ignorance of the existence/presence of someone/something.
   
2. To snub, reject, or toss in the trash.
   
3. To pretend deafness or blindness in order to escape a sticky situation.
   

I have been trying to apply definitions 1 and 3 in my life. I am just too affected by everything around me; I'm an emotional sponge; I'm too empathic for my own good...if that doesn't emotionally drain you, then I don't know what will.

I have been struggling with this topic for years now (as proven by my "Good Guys Finish Last" entry, written 4 years ago. Haha), and I still don't know whether I have achieved my goal to be a dedma person. Some say that, yes, I am dedma (Hello Diane, ikaw to), but some say that, no, I'm still too affected/emotional/totally-the-opposite-of-dedma.

I now realize that the ultimate goal isn't to be dedma all the time...I just wanted (emphasis on the past tense) to not be affected all the time; to only care for what really matters; to not throw a hissy fit every time something doesn't go according to what I expected; to use my energy towards happiness and not towards worrying about things that don't worry about me back. :)

If that's the case, then I think my mission has been accomplished. At least, I think I have greatly improved. :) Or maybe I'm just too damn happy to have anything to be dedma about. :)

Yeah, maybe that's it. :)