I Hate Expectations

Check list for a fun night:

1. Really cute outfit (to change into after work)
2. Fully-charged camera battery
3. Empty CF card
4. Newly purchased Rico Blanco CD
5. Parents on vacation = no curfew!

Yes to all of the above!

But was I able to utilize them? NO.

Was I able to go somewhere? ANYWHERE? Yes. Straight HOME.

Hay nakoooo.

God, I hate expectations! They ruin everything!!!! >:(

Craving for Twilight

It’s been awhile since I felt the exhilaration of reading a really good book. If the book is part of a saga / series, there is also that added anticipation for the next book, and that’s what really gets me excited.

The book series that have gotten me addicted are the Harry Potter books and the Series of Unfortunate Events. The Shopaholic series has also gotten me smitten, and I am looking forward to the book after Shopaholic and Baby (Shopaholic takes over Kindergarden, perhaps? Hahaha, ang baduy ko. But I really hope Sophie Kinsella writes another edition!). Griffin and Sabine is also a set of books that I adore, although I am still lacking the last 2 books because Nick Bantock books are so damn expensive!!! :(

Another saga that has gotten me craving (no, salivating) for more is Twilight. It was an unexpected twist of fate, as I had really no intention of joining the Twilight hype. Everybody else was raving about it, but I really couldn’t see what the fuss was all about; another vampire story, big deal.

But one fateful long weekend (just this past Nov. 1 and 2) found me alone with a Twilight book, and I finished it in one day (cumulative number of hours. Haha). I couldn't put it down.

During my lunch break today, after fulfilling all of my bank errands, I briskly walked to National Book Store and bought myself the hardbound book box set (Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse and Breaking Dawn). I couldn't help but skip back to work, already imagining myself lying on my bed, my back propped up against my pillow, a bag of Ruffles by my side, while I devour every word of my new book purchase.



Ahhh. THIS is my natural high. :)

Your Universe

I love the new song by Rico Blanco. It's very sweet, and I'm a sucker for sweetness. :)

Listen to it, I'm sure you'll love it. :)

Your Universe
by Rico Blanco

Tell me something
When the rain falls on your face
How do you quickly replace it with
A golden summer smile?

Tell me something
When I'm feelin' tired and afraid
How do you know just what to say
To make everything alright?

I don't think that you even realize
The joy you make me feel when I'm inside
Your universe
You hold me like I'm the one who's precious
I hate to break it to you but it's just
The other way around
You can thank your stars all you want but
I'll always be the lucky one

Tell me something
When I'm 'bout to lose control
How do you patiently hold my hand
And gently calm me down?

Tell me something
When you sing and when you laugh
Why do I always photograph my heart
Flyin' way above the clouds?

I don't think that you even realize
The joy you make me feel when I'm inside
Your universe
You hold me like I'm the one who's precious
I hate to break it to you but it's just
The other way around
You can thank your stars all you want but
I'll always be the lucky one

My Ears Are A-Clapping. :))

Translation: pumapalakpak taenga ko. :))

I love it when I get good comments on my pictures:

delete reply trevor66 wrote today at 1:06 PM great shots! love it!

delete reply ahlexcidal wrote today at 1:12 PM asteeeeg! anu equipment mo?

edit delete reply dedmalang wrote today at 2:56 PM Canon 350D, with Canon EF 50mm f/1.8 Prime Lens. :) That's it. I don't have money for a flash yet. :))

delete reply revengeofkittie wrote today at 1:16 PM galliiingg!!!!!! :)

delete reply cyberkamote wrote today at 2:29 PM great exposures! saktong sakto yung lighting nung stage! pang magazine!

delete reply jervinn wrote today at 2:53 PM ang galing!

edit delete reply dedmalang wrote today at 3:10 PM thank you! :)

delete reply elricphoto wrote today at 3:26 PM nice ma'am eto sinasabi ko wala sa equipment nasa photographer eto... galing ma'am

delete reply aliverbeng wrote today at 3:30 PM nice

delete reply akugibran wrote today at 3:35 PM great photos bro. 50 1.8 right? flash sucks for concert photos, even if you bounce. it just destroy the colorful concert lights.

delete reply anamariz wrote today at 4:51 PM hi! :) great shots! I saw you na in person in Hale's gigs. I also LOVE that band. :) you rock! you took very professional shots..:)

delete reply countingcrow wrote today at 5:58 PM Nice images Les. Very well done! I remember when you first bought the 50mm. I knew you would put it to good use. I've noticed a marked improvement in your photos. No joke. Actually, i think you're ready for some actual event coverage. ;) Ano, type mo? No pressure, i'll bring you to one of my gigs, give you a backstage pass, you take photos. Game? :D

delete reply countingcrow wrote today at 6:02 PM Now THIS is a photograph!

* * * *

But I love it even more (and it means a whoooole lot more), when a great photographer (and also a good friend!) compliments me. In a special blog entry, nonetheless:

Ku's Blog Entry: Lesley Images

My very good friend Lesley Espiritu is awesome. She started photography around a year ago, with her 350D, kit lens, and 55-200mm zoom. She took photos of anything and everything. Until she came across event coverage.

For some reason (like a boy who shall not be named Sheldon), she came to love watching gigs of the band Hale. She was getting frustrated because she couldn't capture the images that she wanted with the gear that he had.

Enter the 50mm 1.8 prime lens. Cheap, fast glass. She started to gain momentum (having access to the stage and everything around it), and was soon covering Hale's gigs left and right. Over the course of a few months, her Multiply site slowly became an unofficial Hale webpage. But I digress.

I am really impressed by the quality of the images she is pumping out nowadays. Great exposure, timing, framing, composition. All this, plus the passion to get out there and click away. I envy her. I have my camera with me all the time, and i watch gigs a lot too. But for some reason, I feel i don't have the drive to click click click... She's out there, clicking.

So kudos to you, Lesley! Good job, and keep on clicking!

For more images from Les, go here - http://dedmalang.multiply.com

* * * *

Awwww, Kuuuuuuu!!! :') That is so sweet, I got teary-eyed while reading it. You know how much I crave for positive photography thoughts! Hahahaha. :')

I really hope that this is my niche. I have fun doing it. I love hearing people say how much I have improved (and I hope I improve some more!). There are people out there who are infinitely better, and I get inspiration from them all (hi Ku, idol kita!) I may not have the most impressive system, but I try my best with what I have. :"> (haha shit, parang acceptance speech!)

Check out Ku's site: http://countingcrow.multiply.com, yan talaga ang master photographer! :)

Boo. I lost it.

In an attempt to incorporate Blogger's new blog tools / features, I forgot to save a copy of my old blog template.

All of my links, my blogmates, my sidebar stuff...poof. Gone. Demmet. :(

Oh well. At least I have new sidewall tools.

Still.

Boooooo. :'(

High School Musical has never been hotter

Elle's new photo spread features High School Musical stars, Zac Efron, Vanessa Hudgens and Ashley Tisdale.

HOT.

There's no other word for it.

I love Zac and Vanessa as a couple. I am a Zanessa fan. Kinikilig ako sa kanila. Hahaha. :)

I can't wait for High School Musical 3. :D Wheee. Time to bring out the kid in me. :D

I Killed A Cat

I feel terrible.

I was out late last night, and I was already half-asleep as I was driving home (yeah, I know, it's dangerous. In my opinion, it feels more uncontrollable than drunk driving). I already made it into my village, and in my mind, I was already picturing myself asleep in bed.

The next time I opened my eyes (I think around 5 seconds of sleep?), I glimpsed a white adolescent cat (not a kitten, not a grown-up cat..."medium-sized," as I relayed to my sister) crossing the street. There was no more time to avoid it, and I felt a "crunch" under my tires.

I feel terrible.

I was too chicken to go back and see if it was still OK (but judging from the crunch, I highly doubt it). I immediately called Sheldon to tell him about what happened, and he tried to calm me down by telling me that I shouldn't dwell on it anymore, and that it was not my fault.

But it was. I should have been more...awake. :(

Wah. I need a hug. :(

I still feel terrible. :( I cried when I got home (sabi nga ni Mama, ang OA ko daw, pusa lang naman daw yun). I cried myself to sleep, thinking how awful it feels to be responsible for taking away a life (yeah, so medyo OA nga ako, so what?).

A few years back, I witnessed a kitten being run over by an FX. It was so small that it spun around with the wheel a few times before it fell to the ground. I was traumatized for days. When I see roadkill on the streets, I get so angry that I wish karma on the driver. And now that I have blood on my hands (cat blood), I feel as if I'm a hypocrite, and that my karma is on it's way soon. :'(

I really hope that I didn't kill it. Maybe I just bumped it aside, or ran over its tail (I didn't hear it screech/wail, though). Or maybe it wasn't really a cat...just a huge, white rat. Wah, I'm desperate for a positive thought. :(

I can't handle this, I can't believe I killed something. :( To the cat, wherever you are: I'm sorry. I really really feel bad. I know that that thought doesn't help at all (especially since you might be already dead. And also since you're a cat, and you don't understand English), but I just want to throw it out to the universe. There. Sorry. :(

Absurd thought for the day

I am buried in paperwork (blue print paper kind of work), and as I sat in my 700mm x 700mm personal bubble (yes, it is that small, I am not exaggerating), I had this sudden absurd thought: what if I had magic powers like Harry Potter? I could just summon the missing blueprints into my hands with one "Accio Drawing S-ORT2-509!"

[poignant pause]

But given that there are thousands of blueprints lying around the office, I could probably end up literally buried in more paperwork.

Hehe.

Told you it was an absurd thought. :D

What is dedma?

I have been using this domain name for years. Since college (I won't say how many years ago that was...just trust me that it was a long time ago. Haha). I have used this as my mantra ever since my good, good friend Kayan (my tree-mate!) gave me this piece of advice during one of our CR crying sessions. "Dedma lang!" I forget the context of our conversation (I think it's safe to say that it was about love...or the lack thereof), but the gist was that I shouldn't get too affected by it, hence the usage of the term "dedma."

But what exactly is dedma?

I stumbled across this very useful site, wherein they got an excerpt from Jessica Zafra's Twisted. Dedma 101:

The etymology: Dedma is the attenuated form of the English words dead malice. Dead malice, in turn, is the literal translation of the Tagalog expression, patay malisya. It is conjugated thus: dedma, dinedma, dededmahin.

Huh. I never knew that! Hehehe. We learn something new everyday! :)

To break it down more specifically, there are 3 definitions of "dedma:"

1. To completely ignore/feign ignorance of the existence/presence of someone/something.
   
2. To snub, reject, or toss in the trash.
   
3. To pretend deafness or blindness in order to escape a sticky situation.
   

I have been trying to apply definitions 1 and 3 in my life. I am just too affected by everything around me; I'm an emotional sponge; I'm too empathic for my own good...if that doesn't emotionally drain you, then I don't know what will.

I have been struggling with this topic for years now (as proven by my "Good Guys Finish Last" entry, written 4 years ago. Haha), and I still don't know whether I have achieved my goal to be a dedma person. Some say that, yes, I am dedma (Hello Diane, ikaw to), but some say that, no, I'm still too affected/emotional/totally-the-opposite-of-dedma.

I now realize that the ultimate goal isn't to be dedma all the time...I just wanted (emphasis on the past tense) to not be affected all the time; to only care for what really matters; to not throw a hissy fit every time something doesn't go according to what I expected; to use my energy towards happiness and not towards worrying about things that don't worry about me back. :)

If that's the case, then I think my mission has been accomplished. At least, I think I have greatly improved. :) Or maybe I'm just too damn happy to have anything to be dedma about. :)

Yeah, maybe that's it. :)

First Day High

As the previous entry suggests, I started working for a new office just last Monday (the first Monday of June). Of course, like every new adventure, my first day has to have a story. Not necessarily an interesting one, but one that I would like to tell. :) 

This is going to be a really long account of my day, so if you have a short attention span, I suggest that you leave now. Haha. 

* * * *

Ok. So, Monday.

I woke up at 4:50 a.m., so that I could have enough time to prepare for my first day of work. Problem was, I really didn't know how to prepare. What the hell does one wear to a construction site? My dad said to wear "smart casual," but that could mean many things. Rugged office attire? Smart but rugged? Rugged but smart? I gave up trying to think and settled on jeans, a sleeveless button-down polo (pin-stripes pa, to give that office-y feel), and my most "rugged" shoes that are not sneakers: closed black sandals with kitten heels (my shoes are either chucks, strappy sandals, or peep-toe stiletto heels eh). Astig diba. Kitten heels to a construction site. My feet are doomed.

At 5:20 a.m., I was done with my shower, and my wet hair was soaking through my crisp, pin-striped polo. I sit down for a breakfast of Frosted Flakes and cold low-fat milk. I feed the dog. I grab my stuff (my bag, 2 pieces of tuna pandesal, a water bottle, and my planner), kiss my parents goodbye, and I head towards my car...which was, I realized as I drew nearer, the dirtiest thing in the world. Wooh, great. I had to drive around Metro Manila in a car covered in plant spores (If you do not live under the canopy of 6 eucalyptus trees, you wouldn't understand).

Anyway, I left promptly at 5:45 a.m. (because I had to be at work at 7:00 a.m. Tuh). Wow, I get to listen to the beginning of the Morning Rush! Hurrah! :) I get to EDSA-Guadalupe at 6:10 a.m. (wow, aga, mali time estimate ko. Haha!), and I drive into the site office lot at 6:15 a.m. I parked, put on a little make-up (can't afford to look sloppy on my 1st day), and waited. I got to listen to the first batch of the Morning Rush top 10 ("Top 10 Grammatical Errors that give you a headache." Ahluvit), and then I got out of the car.

The guard made me wait outside, because the person I was looking for (my supervisor, an architect-nun. Haha) wasn't in yet (it was only 6:30 a.m. Duh). A few minutes later, a 40-ish looking guy told me to wait inside. So like a very trusting puppy, I followed him inside the office, and there were only a handful of people in there. Tuh. Everyone's late? It was already 7 a.m. by that time.  I started doodling on my planner for 30 minutes before a guy came in and told me I was waiting in the wrong office. The office I was supposed to report to was next door. Ohmygod, I was late. I woke up early, I got to the site early, and I WAS LATE. How annoying is that?!?! Or how stupid. Hahahaha. *sigh*

So I went in. My supervisor was on sick leave, so someone else had to brief me about my work responsibilities. Ok naman. It's a lot different from what I was used to, but I can handle it (I think). I spent the morning just reviewing the floor plans and the project description of the buildings we were constructing. Then someone toured me around (the tour lasted around 5 minutes. The office was that small), and introduced me to some of the people there. I have office mates with names like Charisma, Melchor, Modesto, and Fundador (that's a winner). Hehehe. Ok ba? 

During lunch time, I ate one pandesal and then, being anti-social me (and because no one was around anyway...they were either eating in the pantry, or sleeping in their seats), I walked to the nearby (very nearby) mall to do some window shopping. Ang saya. Ang lapit ko sa mall. The perks. :)) The downside? Having no money, in a mall full of really expensive designer brands. Torture. Kulang nalang talaga eh umiyak ako sa loob ng Zara. Those long, summery, flower-print dresses!!! I need them!!!

*sigh* 

After lunch, there was a staff meeting...and it lasted for 4 frickin' hours. After the meeting, uwian na! Yahoo. So I went to the mall again. :)) My credit card is going to bite me back some day...(in approximately 1 month, when the bill comes).

* * * *

So yun. I guess that wasn't really a complete account of my day. Tinatamad lang ako to recall every single detail. Basta yan na yung gist. :D I think I'm going to like this new job. It's very technical (very construction-y, obviously), but I think I can do it. My body still has to adjust to the new hours (7 a.m. naman kasi!!! Waaaahhh), and to the new environment (I have to learn to use the site office restroom, rather than walk all the way to the mall to use their really nice, tissue-equipped restroom...maarte ako sa banyo, sorry. Pero kawawa bladder ko, since I can only go to the mall during lunch time. Hahaha!). 

But this is bound to be a very interesting ride. :) Hurrah, I'm excited. Bring it on!

Next time nalang

It's Friday night, and I'm about to go to bed.

Why?

Because I have work tomorrow.

Not overtime, mind you.

My work is from 7 a.m. to 4 p.m. (but people don't really leave till 6 p.m.), Mondays through Saturdays.

Nice.

I have a loooong, detailed account of my first day at work. Watch out for it. :))

For now, I want to sleep.

(or maybe check my mail...Hehe)

Ode to Blog

Dear Blog,

I promise to resurrect you soon.

I'm sorry I've been neglecting you for so long.

I have given in to the lure of multi-function websites like Multiply and Facebook.

But I truly miss being able to write.

I think I've concentrated too much on my ability to see.

It's really ironic, because I haven't had any work for a whole month, yet I can't find time to sit down and write about my day(s).

Oh well.

I'm sure you understand.

I'm sure you won't mind that I'm writing this useless entry, and that I'm speaking to you as if you were a real person.

It's 5:00 a.m. 

I haven't had any sleep. 

Pardon me if I sound delirious.

:))

Ooookay. Time to sleep.

Love,

Les

P.S. I will post a decent entry when I'm well-nourished, well-rested, and sane.

Boo, this blog is dead. :(

Boo, this blog is dead. :(

Haven't posted an entry for sooooo looooong. It's all Multiply's fault. Hahaha. At least that is constantly updated. Sorry Blogger, I have abandoned you.

Oh well.

Have nothing to write about anyway.

Except that, oh yeah, I already left my post at the office (resigned/indefinite leave), and I am now a bum for a month! Yeehaa. Hooray for May!

Come June, though, I'll be starting work again. For my dad. Hahaha. :P

And then, this July...school! Yay, buhay estudyante ulit!!!

I want to blog! I want to dust out my writing skills and write a decent entry!

But I can't, cause I have a meeting in a couple of hours. Hahaha. (Bum nga, may meeting naman. Extra moolah! Whee)

Later nalang. Or tomorrow. Or next week. :)

Financial Distress

This morning, I've been adding up all of my credit card bills (which will all be due some time within 1-3 weeks), and I've realized something... Ok, I've realized a lot of things:

• I cannot spend any more money until mid-April. SERIOUSLY.
• I should lock up my credit cards until I pay off all of my bills.
• I cannot afford to watch the Mandy Moore concert on Wednesday (sorry seastarr...maybe we can just hang out outside and listen. Hehe)
• I cannot afford to buy the Canon Speedlite 580EX II I told my mom to bring home for me from the States. *boohoo* :((
• Ever since I bought Zac, I have not saved ANY money. Not in my time deposit. Not in my mutual funds. Not in my savings bank. NADA.
• The money I get every 15-30 goes right out of my pocket again, to pay for my bills.
• Major expenses for this year: Clothes + birthday blow-out (I dieeeee) + concerts!
• ...which means that: I should stop buying new clothes (how???) + I should not spend too much on food (HOW???) + I should pray for a financial miracle (because how can I surpass Toto? DMB? Justin Timberlake?!?! HOW???!!!)

Agh. This is impossible. My credit cards are magic, and I love them, but they will also be the death of me. :(

I can already hear my mom's voice in my head, saying: "Do not live beyond your means." BLAH. I hate it when she's right. Hehe.

I really should (re)start saving up. I'm already 26, and I'm way below my target. *sigh* :(

So I guess this means that for this year:

• No more out-of-town trips.
• No out-of-the-country trips (goodbye Hong Kong. Boooo).
• No more buying of camera accessories (waaaaah!)
• I should stop buying stuff at Bayo, People Are People, Plains & Prints, and Shoe Salon.
• I shouldn't be lazy to go to Greenhills to shop for my stuff there.
• No more Cold Rock ice cream. :(
• No more Tea Lattes at Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf.
• I shouldn't bring my car to the office anymore, even on Fridays (the parking fees are killing me).
• No more buying of snacks at 7-11 during break time (good for my diet, too).
• No more blow-outs! Kahit sa office despedida ko, WALA!!! (sorry officemates).
• No more kakikayan at the parlor/spa. Hello do-it-yourself manicures/pedicures, wax, etc. Shet. :(
• I should cut-back on lunch/dinners-out.

BOO.

HOO.

:'(

Corporate Vanity

Bah. Monday again. Back to work. :(

My happy thought for the day...I like the clothes I'm wearing. Hahaha. Sorry for sounding vain, but looking good can really make you feel good. :) It's a Cosmo-girl fact. :))

Just to give you an idea...I'm wearing a chocolate brown, button-down, safari-style, hip-length blouse (I don't know what the technical term for this piece of clothing is. Fashion editor, I am not), with black, slim-cut slacks; tan, faux snake-skin peep-toe stilettos from Janilyn; pearl necklace (dammit, I forgot the matching earrings. Haha), and my black leather watch (which goes with pretty much everything).

I look pretty good, I think, given that I just got the first thing I saw in my closet (this top, which I haven't worn in ages). It's a good thing, too, since I just remembered that I have an internal design review meeting with the big boss later today (Ugh. I have to prep).

I haven't looked this "corporate" in a long time. I usually just wear a simple blouse with my slacks, since I cover it up with a sweater once I'm here at work (I freeze in office air-conditioning). I really should put more effort into dressing for the office. Haha! And I really should make it a point to apply make-up before leaving the house. Just this morning, I shared an elevator with my boss...and not just any boss (I'm in the middle of the pile so there are a lot of other people I call "boss")...the BIG BOSS, our company's CEO. I looked professional in my outfit, yeah, but I looked like I just woke up (which is really the case, since I slept in the car on the way to work). I rushed to the ladies' room to apply my usual make-up, and I was amazed at what a big difference a little cheek tint and eyeliner can make. Gad. Am I really getting that old that I need make-up to transform my face??? Hahaha. Boo.

I wonder what I'll wear tomorrow?