It's 4:12 a.m., and I can't sleep. This is really weird, considering that I have been out drinking last night and my head feels like it's filled with lead. I'm thinking about so many things, and my brain doesn't seem to want to rest. Boo. I really should learn to stop worrying too much.
One of the things I'm getting all wound up about: Graduate school.
Two weeks ago, I had a telephone interview for one of the courses I applied to at UCL. The course director told me right then and there (after interviewing me for an hour!) that he was recommending me for admission into his course. He said that he thought my answers were good (bola skills from U.P. do come in handy), and that I would fit nicely into the course. Yay. So I'll be receiving the offer for admission anytime soon.
Also, I submitted an essay for the other UCL course I had applied to (as requested by the course director). No word from their department yet. Maybe they didn't like what I wrote (about indoor environmental quality. Blah). 2000 words of technical hoohah. At least I learned a lot while researching for that shiteous essay.
I also got accepted into the University of Sydney just last September. The application process for that was pretty quick, though. I submitted the application form, along with other requirements (diploma, transcript, IELTS result etc), and I received a firm offer of admission ONE WEEK after I sent it out through FedEx. That's it? Go figure.
But that doesn't matter anyhow, because I'm leaning more towards UCL. I haven't even received my admissions letter yet, and I can visualize myself roaming the streets of London, all bundled up, blowing steam out of my mouth. Whee. I am going to freeze to death in that place. It's weird that I'm looking forward to that.
Is it crazy that I'm prepping myself for this trip even before I have even confirmed it? I'm stocking up on winter coats, and they're only gathering dust in my closet (when would I be able to wear a (faux)fur-lined coat here in Manila?!); I'm compiling a "leaving on a jet plane" playlist on my iPod (Makita Kang Muli, Don't Forget to Remember Me, etc. just to give you a preview. Harhar).
I haven't been away from my family for more than a week. I have never lived away from home in all my 24 years. How the hell do I expect to survive living in a foreign country, all by myself, for a whole frickin' year?!?! I must be crazy.
I have only been an average student in college. Not even close to honors. And I procrastinate to death. How in the world will I go through graduate school?? I must be delusional. I had better switch myself to *nerd* mode for a year.
10 months away, and I'm having an anxiety attack.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
honey, you'll be alright. i came back relatively ok, and so will you! (that is, if you decide to come back. ha!) my only advice is - don't fall in love with an irishman. or any western european for that matter. ha.
ReplyDeletei have to say, 25 is pretty young to be going out for grad studies. then again, i was only a year older when i left. but a lot of things change in a year, and you just might be beter prepared if you postpone your studies for a while. that's what i did, and i have no regrets about it.
if you feel you're not ready, don't push yourself. i had no anxiety attacks whatsoever before i was leaving. and not even when i got there. i suppose that's just me. i love the idea of living on my own in a foreign land =)
which programme did you apply for in ucl? drop me an email if you have any more questions. would be more than happy to help =) i'm also in manila now, so just ask mumty how to get in touch with me if you want to meet up =) cheers, mate! ;)