Good Guys Don't (Always) Finish Last

I read this article and was touched: "A Victim Treats His Mugger Right."

It's about being kind to everybody you encounter in your everyday life. It's a bit crazy (and kind of hard to do), but it just says that everybody in the world deserves to be treated fairly.

I've been disillusioned so many times in my life that I've begun to question the justice in this world. I think I'm a good person; I think I do not harm people intentionally; how come my luck seems to run out on things that I consider to be important to me?

I remember having a discussion with a close friend of mine who was having marital problems.
How come the 2 of us - the good girls in the group, the girls who worked overtime, made their parents proud, were good girlfriends (subjectively, I think), went to Church, etc. - how come we were the ones with sucky love lives and broken hearts?

Maybe "Karma" or universal justice is overrated (or a lie that is said to hopeless romantics like me). Maybe it isn't about "deserving" a happy ending.

This quote explains it all: "Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is a little like expecting a bull not to attack because you are a vegetarian." - Dennis Wholy

BUT (yes, it has to be capitalized), even if goodness does not beget goodness, it doesn't give anybody an excuse to be bad. I was lamenting about this before: If goodness / kindness doesn't matter, if you get kicked into the gutter anyway, why waste time being good? Why not be a bitch and enjoy life's gifts anyway?

I found a blog entry of mine from waaaay back (back when I was still on blurty.com), and it perfectly discusses what I want to say:

I'm not exactly the person you should ask about lessons on being nice...far from it, actually. I'm not saying I'm a bitch. Hmmm..But I can be, come to think of it. Actually, I believe that all women have a secret bitchiness that is brought out by certain things.

Through the years, I've become really disillusioned about my public image. Back in gs and hs, I always believed that I was a "nice," "good-natured" person who meant people no harm. I was the girl who just sat quietly, and smiled at you as you pass. I could never say no to favors asked by friends. That may get me labelled as gullible sometimes, but for me, I was just "trusting." I still have good intentions when it comes to dealing with other people...but I think the bad side of Lesley has begun to rear it's ugly, bitchy head. Out goes nice, friendly, and sweet. In comes angsty, irritated and sardonic. (Author's Note 2010: I don't know what phase of my life this was when I wrote this entry, but I guess I was in a bitchy/bitter phase. Haha).

And then Legally Blonde comes along (Author's Note 2010: Yeah, this blurty entry was about Legally Blonde. Haha. Trust me to find some sort of learning in a chickflick). Some people think it's a brainless movie. Leave your brain at the door, just watch and have a good time. But even if Elle does project an image that says "Take me lightly," her character and the way she handles her relationships, actually say "Learn from me." I realized that being nice isn't a personality trait that you acquire from genes or whatever DNA is floating around in your system. Being nice is a lot like being happy...it's a choice. You either choose to make people happy by being good to them, or choose to annoy people with your I-think-I'm-above-you-you-don't-deserve-my-kindness attitude. Elle always chooses to be happy, by being nice to the people around her.

We should all take a page from her book. 

She gets criticized, laughed at and discriminated against, yet she faces these people with a smile and a trusting heart. "You just have to have faith in people." Is she merely naive? Too innocent? Too trusting? Overly optimistic? After all, who in their right mind would still dance on the sunny side of the street when there is a threat of jaded, pessimistic people jumping at the chance to trample you once you cross the line? 

The amazing thing is, she is aware of these risks. But she still chooses the sunny side because she has faith that there is some good in all people. AND she has enough faith in herself to believe that she has what it takes to bring out that good.

My point is, good guys get hurt, but it is not because the universe wants to punish them. Good guys get hurt because they are naturally trusting, have more open arms (and hearts), and are therefore, more susceptible to pain.

I know I am guilty of allowing hatred and anger to rule my heart. Just this week, I have probably hurt a lot of people because of my words and actions. I may regret it now, but I know that I cannot take it back; I cannot change the past. But I realize that the negative emotions need to be felt, in order for the positive emotions to be appreciated.

It's a long shot to expect other people to treat you fairly all the time, even when all you put out is love and rainbows and hearts and smiles; sometimes good guys DO finish last. The important thing to remember, I guess, is to always have hope (or faith? I interchange these 2 sometimes) that you will soon get what you give. You will soon receive kindness. You will soon receive compassion. You will soon receive consideration. You will soon receive respect. You will soon receive love.

The important thing is to rid your heart of hatred and anger so that these good things will have room inside, once the time comes.

"I figure, you know, if you treat people right, you can only hope that they treat you right. It's as simple as it gets in this complicated world."