Minsan...

Maybe it's because of that tribute album that has been recently released (Ultraelectromagnetic Jam...sounds nice, does anyone have it?), but I've been listening to Eraserheads songs all week. Most of their songs remind me of college: the U.P. experience, to be specific.

Pare Ko is the ultimate "bigo" song, perfect for inuman sessions: the alcohol gives you an extra oomph to shout out that essential curse in the chorus ("Diba? T*&#i^a, nagmukha akong tanga! Pinaasa nya lang ako..."). Magasin doesn't tell a story that anyone can particularly relate to. Unless your ex is a superstar/model/sexy star. Hehehe. But it's a fun song to sing, don't you agree? ("Iba na ang iyong ngiti, iba na ang iyong tingin...") Shirley tells the story of everyone who has fallen inlove, albeit crazily (is there any other way?), too quickly, or without any apparent reason ("The next week mag-syota na sila; magka-holding hands papunta sa C.A.S.A.A.....Ganyan ma-inlove-love-love-love-love...").

Other lyrics that most can relate to: Ligaya ("Tatlong oras na akong nagpapacute sayo, di mo man lang napapansin ang bagong t-shirt ko..."). Sembreak ("Sana ay may pasok na para at least meron nang baon..."). Torpedo ("Pasensya na kung ako ay di nagsasalita. Hindi ko kayang sabihin ang aking nadarama...")

There are a lot more. Most of the songs I mentioned are about love and admiration, but in some ways, they are also about friendships forged inspite all of the heartbreak. O wishful thinking ko lang ba yun? :p Minsan is the song that focuses entirely on friendship. Listening to it (it's my current song addiction!) I get senti everytime (Trivia: Only U.P. people know that the "Kalayaan" mentioned in the song isn't Kalayaan Avenue, but Kalayaan Hall, the dormitory for U.P. Diliman freshmen). I remember U.P. I remember Arki. I remember my whole college experience...all the good times, and all the bad times (although, I cringe everytime I remember those...).

Getting to interact with people from other schools has only convinced me that absolutely nothing compares to the U.P. experience. It's a one-sided sort of observation, as I haven't experienced college life in other schools; but I guess everyone is entitled to be fiercely proud of their alma mater. And now that I've already graduated, the feeling of nostalgia is fueling that U.P. pride even more.


Only In U.P...

...do you have to travel 2 or more kilometers to your next class, in the Ikot, Toki, or - if trip mo pumasok na basa ng pawis - on foot. I remember back in freshman year, my block had to go from AS to NIGS. We waited in line for 15 minutes, only to find out too late that we were riding the wrong jeep. Eh ang lapit lapit lang pala ng NIGS, nagjeep pa kami. :p

...do you have rallies encouraging you to boycott your class. Noone ever follows that, anyway. What, waste our tuition money by not attending class? The horror! Hahaha. (I was being sarcastic, by the way...)

...is registration/enrollment a one-week affair. Kung tumaba ka during the sembreak/summer, papayat ka rin during reg. Staying in line (in the unforgiving heat!); running from one building to another; going from one end of the campus to another, and then running all the way back again...all of this, and managing to get only 10 units.

...do you get to hang out at the tambayan during your 6-hour break between classes. Bakit ka pa uuwi diba? Mas masaya sa Arki eh.

...do you get to try out most (if not all) of the eating places in a 6-kilometer radius. Katipunan, Philcoa, SM North. Kahit West Avenue dadayuhin namin, para lang sa Keema and Shawarma. Hehehe. Food trip!

...do you get to wear ANYTHING! Pumasok ka man na nakapambahay, so what?! Nobody's gonna care! Pero shempre kung may pinopormahan ka, ibang usapan na yun...

...do you feel like you've entered a whole new city altogether. Inside the campus, you'll find a health center, a shopping center, a church (both catholic and christian), a post office, a movie theater, sports centers, a hotel. It's all in there. Airport nalang ang kulang. Hehe. A self-sustaining community, not just for students. Puwede ka nang tumira sa loob ng campus. Hehe.

...do you have the Lantern Parade! It's the most emotionally-charged day of the year for us: Christmas is only days away, it's the last day of the school year, there are dancing lanterns on the street, and thousands of people watching. What's not exciting about that? I think they changed the format this year, though. Olats! Next year sana ibalik na nila...they're messing with tradition!!! Grrr.

...do you have ducks waddling around the Lagoon. :) Block mascot! Hehe.

...do you have those really huge acacia trees all around campus. You have to admit, they're beautiful. Hard to imagine U.P. Diliman without them. Kaya masarap magpaka-senti sa AF tambayan noon eh...view mo kasi yung treetops. Green against a startling blue sky. Nice.


O. Wala kayo jan.
U.P. the best. Hehe.
(Yung ibang taga-U.P., baka may gusto kayong idagdag sa list...)



* * * *
minsan sa may kalayaan tayo'y nagkatagpuan
may mga sariling gimik at kanya-kanyang hangad sa buhay
sa ilalim ng iisang bubong
mga sekretong ibinubulong
kahit na anong mangyari
kahit na saan ka man patungo

ngunit ngayon kay bilis maglaho ng kahapon
sana'y huwag kalimutan ang ating mga pinagsamahan
at kung sakaling gipitin ay laging iisipin
na minsan tayo ay naging
tunay na magkaibigan

minsan ay parang wala nang bukas sa buhay natin
inuman sa magdamag na para bang tayo'y mauubusan
sa ilalim ng bilog na buwan
mga tiyan nati'y walang laman
ngunit kahit na walang pera
ang bawat gabi'y anong saya

minsan ay hindi ko na alam ang nangyayari
kahit na anong gawin
lahat ng bagay ay merong hangganan
dahil ngayon tayo ay nilimot ng kahapon
di na mapipilitang buhayin ang ating pinagsamahan
ngunit kung sakaling mapadaan baka
ikaw ay aking tawagan
dahil minsan tayo ay nagingtunay na magkaibigan

U.P grads, can you relate? :)

Excerpt from "Get A Life" by
Jose Dalisay Jr., PhD
Address to the Graduating Class
UP Baguio, 23 April 2005

"...You are UP because you can think and speak for yourselves, by your own wits and on your own two feet, and you can do so no matter what the rest of the people in the room may be thinking. You are UP because no one can tell you to shut up, if you have something sensible and vital to say. You are UP because you dread not the poverty of material comforts but the poverty of the mind. And you are UP because you care about something as abstract and sometimes as treacherous as the idea of "nation," even if it kills you.

Sometimes, long after UP, we forget these things and become just like everybody else; I certainly have. Even so, I suspect that that forgetfulness is laced with guilt - the guilt of knowing that you were, and could yet become, somebody better. And you cannot even argue that you did not know, because today, I just told you so."

*Woosh*

7:15 a.m. - Departure from house
7:35 a.m. - Arrival at LRT Line 2, Santolan Station
8:05 a.m. - Arrival at Recto Station
8:05 to 8:15 a.m. - Walk from Recto Station to Carriedo
8:15 a.m. - Arrival at NBI Clearance Center

*woosh*

8:45 a.m. - Mission Accomplished. NBI Clearance obtained
9:10 a.m. - Arrival at Recto Station

*woosh*

9:55 a.m. - HOME!


Asteeg. Ang bilis. No hassle, minimal expenses. If I had taken a car, as originally planned, I would still be stuck in traffic somewhere. Imagine...from Santolan (Pasig/Marikina) to Recto (Manila) and back, with the NBI bureaucracy in between, in less than 2 hours! In Manila traffic, that has got to be some sort of miracle.

Too bad the MRT isn't as nice as the LRT-2.

Multiply

Oh yeah...

I was able to watch Constantine's concert.

I was able to get his autograph.

I was able to shake his hand.


And I've got pictures and videos to prove it! (well, except for the shaking of the hands part...)

Check 'em out at My Multiply Site

yahoooooo....:)

Constantiiiiiiiine!!!

I'm so excited.
I can't wait to see him up close (please please let me see him up close!).
I can't wait to watch him perform LIVE! (ack! live smoldering looks! live sexy pouts! live sex appeal!!! ack!)

AAH.
I can't breathe. Hahaha.

CONSTANTINE MAROULIS.
Here.
In Manila.

AAAAAAH!

*
Note: There's a discrepancy between the article below and the posters around Greenbelt. According to the article, Constantine will be appearing at Greenbelt Park on Nov. 16. According to the posters, it's November 17. I'll be there both days just to be sure. Hahaha. But I'm betting on November 17. :D

* * * *

First posted 08:53pm (Mla time) Nov 12, 2005
By Marinel R. Cruz
Inquirer News Service

Editor’s Note: Published on page A2-2 of the November 13, 2005 issue of the Philippine Daily Inquirer.

THE ONLY WAY HIS FILIPINO fans can see the wildly popular “American Idol” finalist Constantine Maroulis when he visits Manila next week is to turn up at the Ayala Malls.

“There are no TV appearances in his itinerary. I suggest fans go straight to the malls and see him in the flesh,” said Cathy Bengzon, ad and promo head of Ayala Land, sponsor of Constantine’s five-day RP tour.

The charismatic rocker is scheduled to arrive tomorrow from the United States on board a Philippine Airlines flight.

A meet-and-greet with the local press in Makati City is set in the same afternoon. At 5 p.m., Constantine will lead Ayala Center’s Tree-lighting Ceremony at the Greenbelt Park.

He is also here to promote the album “Killer Queen: A Tribute to Queen,” under the Sony BMG label, where he sings “Bohemian Rhapsody” as one of the featured artists.

Tuesday will be Constantine’s rehearsal day. The names of the musicians he will perform with have not been disclosed.

First in the series titled “Constantine Maroulis Live at Ayala Malls” will be at the Greenbelt Park of the Ayala Center in Makati City on Wednesday, 8 p.m.

Airport security

On Thursday at 7 p.m., he will be at the Alabang Town Center. The next day, Nov. 18, he will fly to Cebu to perform at the Ayala Mall at the Cebu Business District.

Just like what happened when Pinoy “American Idol (2004)” finalist Jasmine Trias first visited the country in October last year, fans are expected to troop to the Ninoy Aquino International Airport to get a glimpse of their idol.

Bengzon said her group had made arrangements with airport officials to avoid a repeat of the incident that involved Jasmine. Because of the large crowd at the airport, the petite singer from Hawaii got separated from her father, Rudy, on the way to the exits.

“Constantine will arrive really early,” explained Bengzon. “He may not be ready to face his fans at that time. We’re%2

Wala Lang

Just an update...

During the past 2 months I have gotten bangs...and I had my hair colored. Hahaha.

I got so bored with my hair, I guess. I needed a change. And since my friends won't let me cut my hair too short again, I had to do something different! Not dramatically different. Nothing wild or anything. But at least it's something new...

Next thing you know, I'll be getting a tattoo on my lower back.

Hehe. JUST KIDDING.
Ako pa. I have a fear of needles. Brrr.

Gah. I'm bored. Give me something to do before I decide to suddenly color my hair blue or something. Hehehe. :)

3 a.m.

I just woke up a couple of minutes ago...was asleep since 5:30 in the afternoon. Blah. :( This is not good for my body clock. Good thing today is a Sunday...

Right now, my cutey-puggy Mac-Mac is walking (waddling?) around the living room with his squeaky toy clamped in his mouth. Hehehe. Adorable.

The problem with being awake in the wee hours of the morning is that everyone else is asleep (no duh!). And that means that I have no one to talk to/chat with, and the silence is making me praning. Makes me want to go to sleep again. But I can't because I've been asleep for 8 hours straight already. Wah, this sucks.

Hmm. I can hear the sound of rustling paper from the living room. Mac is chewing on loose paper once agan. Argh. That dog talaga. Naughty little weirdo. But still adorable. :)

Oh well.

Excuse me while I go back to doing nothing.

Crap.

Expression of the day: CHICKEN SHIT.

chick-en 'shit (noun / adjective / slang) 1. Refers to people who do not have the courage of their convictions. 2. Coward. 3. Nonsense, crap.

Synonyms: loser, asshole, useless f%#*r, *bleep* *bleep* *BLEEP*






"...I'm free but I'm focused
I'm green but I'm wise
I'm hard but I'm friendly baby
I'm sad but I'm laughing
I'm brave and you're chicken shit
You're sick and I'm pretty, baby..."

-- excerpt from Hand In My Pocket by Alanis Morissette. Edited by Les

Where Is My Passion?

I just watched "The Perfect Catch" starring Drew Barrymore and Jimmy Fallon. Cute movie. :)

It got me into thinking though...What am I passionate about?

I don't have any big hobbies...no sports...

Good grief, I'm not even passionate about architecture. If I'm not passionate about my chosen career, then where do I expect to end up in a few years after I'm all burnt out and bitter? :(

If I don't believe in what I do for a living, then what the hell am I doing??? I'm half-hearted. Cynical. Hesitant.

How depressing.









Where is my passion?

Ah Ewan

"...and the promise we break it
and the reasons we fake it
bring us farther apart
from the love that we make
as the poisonous time
leaves us gasping for air
we run for the past
but we're already there..."

-- excerpt from "Drawn Out" by Dishwalla

Me and my girls at Gweilos Makati, waiting for Orange and Lemons to perform! Yeehaaa. :) 

Cheers! 

If Baby's Gone

Sad chords. Sad lyrics. Sad vocals.
Overall, a very sad song.
However, not at all sappy, or mushy.
Alternative all the way, without the slightest hint of bubble gum pop.

I love it.
Do me a favor and download it.

* * * *

If Baby's Gone
by Athenaeum

Baby don't give a damn about me
Why would she ever need to
Cause she's got everything without me
I'm just a rock in her shoe

But then she draws me near to whisper in her ear
I say the things that baby likes to hear

Baby won't put her arms around me
I think she's embarrassed to say
That she's been down ever since she found me
I'm just a lull in her day

But there's nothing she could do that would break my heart in two
Cause baby's got a way of keeping you
And there is nothing she could say
That would push my love away
If baby's gone then I don't wanna stay

Please don't make me live without her
I've lived a life where nothing\s real and nothing matters
Please you can make it easy on me

But then she draws me near to whisper in her ear
I say the things that baby likes to hear
And there's nothing she could say that would push my love away
If baby's gone then I don't wanna stay

ArchiCAD Rocks

Our office has been sponsoring ArchiCAD classes for a week now, and I am absolutely infatuated. Haha. :) It's so easy to use, it's so convenient, and it's so friggin' BRILLIANT! Imagine, I was able to draft a whole house (plans, elevations and sections) in just 4 days!!!

Brilliant, I tell you. Absolutely ingenious.

U-nibersidad ng Pilipinas!!!

Ang galing talaga ng U.P.

Wala akong masabi. Smile lang ng smile. :) It's such a great feeling to be on the winning side!!!!

I've done nothing but brag about the win to anyone who would listen. I swiped the sports section from the office's copy of the Philippine Daily Inquirer and I've been showing everyone the headline: Maroons shock Archers. (come to think about it, they probably shocked everyone else, too!)

When UP won against UST, I had to keep my glee bottled up all day...Baka kasi dumugin ako dito sa office, puro UST mga kasama ko dito. Hahaha. :p At least now I can brag about our victory! HAH!!!

I just hope (please, please, please) that they make it to the finals. It's UP's turn to be winners once again!!! After a looooong hiatus. Hahaha. :)

U.P. FIGHT!!!

*U-NIBERSIDAD NG PILIPINAS (4x)
Matatapang Matatalino
Walang takot kahit kanino
Hinding hindi nagpapahuli
Ganyan kaming mga taga-UP!*

Aaaah!!! Best cheer ever. It really gets the adrenaline going! Go U.P.!!! :)

Please forgive me if I celebrate to the max. Bihira lang mangyari to sa U.P. noh...so pagbigyan. :p

Time To Take A Stand

I have always been wary of voicing out my opinions when it comes to political issues. I don't really make it a point to keep abreast of current affairs (I know, I know...apathetic and selfish of me...) because I'd rather not start (or end) my day feeling frustrated over things I cannot change. It's kind of hard to state your opinions on something you really don't understand completely...and I would rather keep quiet than speak out and get embarrassed from my lack of knowledge.

But at the back of my mind, I know that I would have to say something, sooner or later. Chances are, some people may not like what I have to say; some may not care; while some may agree on some points and disagree on others. But then, that's why it's called an opinion: Nobody really thinks the exact same way...

So my take on the GMA scandal?

What Pisses Me Off

Since I've been in a generally wretched mood the whole week, let me just enumerate the things that really get my blood boiling. In other words, let me just rant.

What Pisses Me Off (in no particular order)

* * * *

People who whine and complain about their situations but never ever do anything about it. You complain that you don't have any savings and then a moment after, you buy overpriced food and the weekend after, you buy a pair of really expensive shoes. No savings? Yea-huh! No wonder!

People who use "It just happened! I couldn't help it!" as an excuse for their behavior. For your information, things do not just happen unless you want them to happen. You have a choice. You always have a choice. And if you make the wrong choice, you not only have to acknowledge the mistake, you have to rectify it.

Angas drivers who think they can outrun my precious car. Eat my dust, you punks! Drivers here are just so ruuuuuuuuude! If only you could hear all the profanity I shout inside my car whenever I encounter road pigs like you...

People who think they're all that but really aren't anything at all. Feeling guwapo and feeling pretty people are under this category. Newsflash: If you proclaim to everyone that you're pretty or pogi, then chances are, you're not. :p

"Self-proclaimed" bitches. Yeah, so you can raise your eyebrows and you can talk trash about people, but can you bring it on? Being "bitchy" is different from being a "bitch." All girls can be bitchy. All girls can be a temporary bitch at certain moments in their lives. But only a select few can actually earn the recognition of being a lifetime bitch. So, what's this I hear about you telling everyone that you're a bitch? Is this some sort of way to glamorize your sorry-ass self? Puhlease. Excuse me while I gag.

Wrong grammar! Ok, so it doesn't really piss me off per se. It just irritates me a bit. I mean, why, WHY use English when you don't even know how? Spare yourself the embarrassment (and spare all of us the agony!), and just stop using words altogether. People who don't know how to spell fall under this category. Can I just laugh at you?

People who go on and on and on about useless, senseless things. You're just wasting my time. Instead of talking, why don't you do something useful for a change. Like, work, for example? And, excuse me? I'm not dumb. I don't need you to repeat everything that the other person just said.

Realizing that I'm wrong. Yeah, that just sucks. I spend all this energy hating you and then I realize that you're actually ok. I hate you for telling me that I'm horrible, and I hate you even more for being right about that. However, right as you may be about me, you're not "Little Miss Perfect" either. I didn't do all of the bad things. You were pretty horrible yourself. ADMIT IT!!!

* * * *

I need to work on my anger management. I was never this wound-up. At least not this often. What has happened to me? I've become a raging, ranting woman!!! But it feels good, in a way. Now, instead of thinking "Oh no! He hates me! I feel so bad!" I can actually say "So what? Who gives a fuck?" Hahaha. From emotional-paranoid-wreck to angst-ridden-hot-tempered-wreck. That has got to be an improvement, right?

Another Song Addiction

One of my song addictions for the month.
From the "A Lot Like Love" OST.
Upbeat song. Semi-sad lyrics. I just love songs like these. :)

Maybe It's Just Me
by Butch Walker

Maybe it's just me, but you seem finally happy
I don't think I've seen your face just glow like a neon sign
And maybe we should be alone for ever after
Cause even though the nights are long
At least I'll make it another day

Cause I can't live if you're not happy
I can't live if you cry,
But I can live without you if it makes you smile

And maybe things got weird after all that went down
Things were oh so clear,
That I could never get the right
So tell me what your plans are
And tell me what you're doing
The only thing I'll hold against me is a picture of you tonight

Cause I can't live if you're not happy
I can't live if you cry,
But I can live without you if it makes you smile
And I can't wait to see you rise
And I can't wait for you to shine
But I can wait for you if all you need is...

Time for you to think things over
Time to talk the drama down
It's not a contest of who'll try harder
Or who'll cross the finish line

And I can't live if you're not happy
I can't live if you cry,
But I can live without you if it makes you smile
And I can't wait to see you rise
And I can't wait for you to shine
But I can wait for you if all you need is time

My Trip At A Glance

Here it is. I've finally finished posting pictures from my trip (a month after I got back!) Sorry ah, dial-up lang kami (The super-fast DSL in the States spoiled me! Argh!). Below are the highlights of my trip...Just click on the links below and they will take you to my photo albums. :) Enjoy!


NEW YORK, New York. The Empire State Building. The MoMA. Times Square! The Virgin Megastore. Ground Zero. Mice in our hotel room. My first taste of Cold Stone Creamery ice cream. Freezing my ass off 24-hours a day.

BOSTON, Massachusetts. JFK Museum. Fenuil Hall / Quincy Market. Louisa May Alcott's house. Old architecture. People wearing old clothes. :) Cheers! Freezing my ass off 24-hours a day (I freeze in 70-degree weather).

The BOSTON Nightlife. Tonic Bar. Raspberry Vodka. Three random guys trying to pick me up (scary). After-hours pizza binge. Wonder Bar. "Red Death" drink. Me dancing! Everybody going home at 2 in the morning. (Special thanks to Ives! *mwah*)

WASHINGTON D.C. Maryland and Virginia. Unusually warm for the East Coast (glorious weather! Love it!) White House evacuation while taking pictures outside. Motorcades every 5 minutes. Museums everywhere. Walking, sore feet and sunburn.

LAS VEGAS, Nevada. Seeing all the lights from the plane as we landed. Seeing all the lights from my lola's house. Seeing all the lights up close. Playing Joker Poker (and losing). The very sleek, very new Wynn Hotel. The Bellagio fountain show. Mamma Mia!

Disneyland! Meeting Mulan, Sleeping Beauty and Belle! Buzz Lightyear's Astro Blasters! Getting traumatized at Splash Mountain. Fireworks. California Adventure. Quirky hats. Hanging out with my cousin, Bianca. Hanging out with Tina. Feeling like a kid again. :)

Suko na ako!

This is me after my first attempt to exercise after a long loooong time. Hehe. :)

* * * *

I have finally done what it is that I have been putting off for almost 4 years now...I have started exercising regularly (well, 2 days, so far!). I would always make excuses for not enrolling in a gym. "I don't have the time" and "I don't have any money!" are the more popular ones. :)

I would always complain that my metabolism seems to be slowing down, and that my appetite doesn't seem to show any signs of decreasing. I would wheeze after jogging for 3 meters, and I will blame it all on the pollution. I would binge on food very often, and I would comfort myself by saying that Hey, it's a special occassion! (Like when I splurged on a bag of Ruffles after I lost 5 lbs...that's a special occassion!)

But then, you know what they say..."Kung gusto, may paraan; kung ayaw, may dahilan." So I decided to stop being a person who constantly whines but does nothing about it; I decide to take the first big step. After all, that should be the hardest part, right? I mean, I hope so...

So I am now enrolled in Fitness First. And I am enjoying every sweat-breaking minute of it. :)

Hopefully, after a few weeks of working out, I won't crumple down on the floor after only 30 minutes of basketball (see picture above). Hopefully...

I Love Cold Stone Creamery

Cold Stone Creamery in White Plains, NY

While in New York, my tita took us to a Cold Stone Creamery near their house so that we can sample "to-die-for-ice-cream" (according to them). I've been hooked ever since!

I swear, I was in heaven the moment I took in the first spoonful of Strawberry-Banana Rendezvous. It was certainly an experience I will never forget. And I proceeded to look for Cold Stone Creamery branches in every city we went to.

What's different about this particular type of ice cream is that they mush it all in. They take your ice cream, they plunk it on top of this frozen slab, they add in all the mix-ins (nuts, chocolate chips...whatever, depending on what you ordered, of course), and they mix it all up.

*sigh* Heaven in a cup.

I've been suffering from Cold Stone withdrawal ever since we got on the plane bound for Manila...but then I found out that they just opened the first Cold Stone Creamery branch in Rockwell, Makati!!! Aaaaah!!! :) That's the best news ever!!!

I love Cold Stone Creamery!!! :)

I highly recommend the Strawberry Banana Rendezvous...and Our Strawberry Blonde! The best! I'll be seeing you in Rockwell! Hehe. :)

The best ice cream in the whole wide world, according to me. :D 

"Mas Maganda Ako Sa Kanya!"

A few days ago, we were listening to an officemate rant about her recent encounter with her ex's current girlfriend. She would emphasize each sentence with, "Pero mas maganda talaga ako sa kanya." Most of us were amused, and we would encourage her with the occassional "Oo naman!" or the "Maputi lang sha." Hehe.

Well, I'm pretty sure that my officemate is prettier than the aforementioned girl. What struck me as funny is the fact that most girls (yes, me included!) would react the same way that she did when placed in the same situation: First comes the Scrutiny. Then comes the inevitable Comparison. And then all the Defenses come into play.The direction of the "defense" part is usually dependent on your self-confidence and the amount of resentment you carry with you. Oh, and humility too (or lack thereof). *grin*

Moreover, I think that people say/do things like that as a reassurance of themselves on some level. Something that gives you a slight illusion of getting one up over the competition. Because, let's face it: Girls will always have this secret resentment towards the girlfriends of their exes, or towards the exes of their boyfriends. So in actuality, the "Scrutiny-Comparison-Defense" routine works both ways. You might be saying "Mas maganda ako sa kanya!" But for all you know, she might be saying the same thing about you. *meow!*

Dont' get me wrong... I don't really do that sort of thing. Unless the girl is a total bitch, that is. Haha. :p Then bashing her would be no problem at all. You are gonna have a field day if the "girlfriend" you are targetting happens to be so not-pretty and a bitch, too! Grrrr. >:D But then, wouldn't you question the taste of your ex if that was the case? Yikes. :)

Hmmm...So what happens if the other girl feels that *you're* the bitch and then she starts bashing you? Well, here is where the catch phrase comes into play. You just go out and proclaim: "Eh ano? Mas maganda naman ako sa kanya!!!" Hahahahaaa. Hah. Oh well.

* * * *

"Does she tell you what you want to hear?
And I bet you she could grow a beard
I feel better thinking you were queer
It’s not fair
I can’t compare to an ugly girl

Hahaha the jokes on me
I feel jealous and I feel mean
She’s so nice that it makes up for her face
There’s no way....
...can't you see
You’re leaving me for an ugly girl."

* * * *

But then, if you're so pretty, stop acting so bitter and go get yourself another man. That shouldn't be too hard if you *are* as pretty as you proclaim you are, right? Riiiiight. :)

What I've Missed

Aside from all the people, you know what I've missed a lot?

Driving.

I was able to drive a bit while I was in the U.S. But driving there is so constricting! Everytime I drove a car, my relatives would be peering at me from the backseat, and since it's *their* car, I get extra nervous and extra careful. I drive with my back straight, with both hands on the wheel (because my lola says so, and she can't have me wreck her nice Lexus. ;p), and I have to observe the speed limit allll theeee tiiime. Hehe.

I know, I know. I should be driving properly and responsibly. But where's the fun in that? (My mom is totally gonna kill me if she hears me say this)

Back here at home, I'm freeeeee.

I can drive as fast as I want. I can drive with my back slouched and with my left hand on my knee. My mouth is quickly getting back to my bad habit of cussing under my breath whenever I encounter really bad drivers (which is very often). And my butt is re-molding itself to the driver seat of my car (my car...I missed my car...Hehehe).

On Monday, I will be going back to work...and that means my car has another week to rest in the garage. :( But come this weekend, we'll be cruisin' again, and that's something to look forward to! Woohoo! :)

I'm hooooome! :)

This is just a sampling of pictures from my trip. Believe me, there are TONS. I'll post them soon...I hope! :) Anyway...I just want to say...

I'm back from the States! :) I'm home! I'M HOME! I'm so happy. :)

In The Middle Of It All

D.C. On Alert! The White House and all Senate Houses are evacuated.

I dunno if it was a big deal in Manila...but this has been front page news over here (well, here in the East, as far as I can tell). Washington D.C. was on alert last Wednesday, May 11th, as an unidentified plane strayed into D.C.'s no-fly zone. It's pretty exciting news, actually...the first "scare" since 9/11.

And I was right *there* in the middle of all the action!

My family and I took the Old Town Trolley tours through D.C. last May 11th. We were supposed to stay on the trolley for the whole route, but then the White House stop came up...and who could resist the White House, right? So we all went down to take some pictures...we walked around the park, taking our sweet time...and my dad asked a nearby guard where the nearest bus stop was. He was polite and very helpful, saying "Oh just go down this block and take a left." And then all of a sudden, "Can you make it quick folks. Please move away from the White House!"

Weh?

A picture with my siblings, a few minutes before the evacuation

And then all of a sudden, we noticed guards with big machine guns, shouting at people to move a block away from the White House. A few moments later, a motorcade raced across the street, complete with police escorts and sirens! Hehehe. Coolness. We were all taking pictures, completely ignoring the fact that this *might* be a real emergency. All the while I thought that someone important may be coming up the driveway or something. :p Only found out in the news that night what all the ruckus was all about. :p

Pretty exciting town. I'm glad I got in on some of the action. Hehe. :)

The Boston Nightlife

Abi, Ivy and I in Tonic. :) Me in my very un-bar-like get up. Hehe. :)

Ivy and I in Wonder Bar, soaking up the so-called Red Death drink. Hehe. :) Yuck, I look fat in this picture...:p

For 2 consecutive nights, I have done something that I normally avoid doing: I've gone to bars. Haha. Yeah, I've gone to a couple of night spots back in Manila, but I've never really stayed for too long. At least not past midnight. And I don't really like going out to *gimik places* at night...it's the homebody in me, I guess. :)

The bars over here are waaaay different. Shocking, actually. Or maybe I'm just too naive. Or feeling naive. Hehehe. :) It was pretty cool...I got to laugh at the dancing white boys. Because they really can't dance. Seriously. It was such a laugh trip watching them try to look sexy. "Brown" boys are better...and I'm pretty biased 'cause Mark's a really good dancer. Hahaha. Filipino all the way! :) Hahaha. :)

Other weird experiences of the night...I danced (which is pretty strange because I can't dance). And 2 strange men hit on me. But I don't think it counts for 4 reasons. 1, they were drunk. 2, it was dark. 3, they weren't cute. At all. And 4, I'm already taken. :D Hee hee.Pretty scary experience. I think natawa si Ivy when she saw my panicked look when the first guy approached. Brrr.

Anyway, thanks so much to Ivy for showing me how the Boston night life is really like! Hehe. Her friends (Abi and Sancho) were really nice too! They were such sweetie pies, even if I was too *shy* to really say anything much. Hehe. I will post more pictures as soon as Ives sends me some more. :D

I'm havin' fun. But I really really really just want to go home. :(

Go Rob & Amber!

Just finished watching the Amazing Race 7 Finale. I was kinda disappointed.

I wanted Rob and Amber to win. :(

I just hate it that the other teams were all so against them from the start, partly because they're famous, and partly because Rob was too agressive (and often times, rude) for their tastes. Hmf. Well, it's a race!!! I think it was pretty cool of them to be that competitive.

And they were soooo sweet. *sigh* GO ROB AND AMBER! :)

Oh well. I guess it was pretty cool for Uchenna and Joyce to win even if they had zero funds. Galing. Pero it would have been more exciting if Rob and Amber won. Man, what I would give to see the looks on Lynn and Alex's faces. Hah! :p

I am the fan of the constestants who didn't win. Rob & Amber and Constantine. Hehehe. Oh well. They all still rock in my book. :D

Leaving again

In a few hours, we'll be leaving this cozy *abode* in California, and we will be flying to New York! We'll be staying in a hotel, though, so no internet for me. I won't be able to chat with anyone anymore...talk about adding more grief to my homesickness. :(

We won't be coming back here till the 28th, so I don't think I'll be able to update this blog anymore. For a month, at least. :p And I won't be able to publicly rant about my (still ongoing) grief for the voting out of Constantine. #!)#&$^@ talaga.

As in WHAT THE F***!?!

Agh. I'm sorry. I'm still bothered. >:(

* * * *

Things to be happy about, though...

- I've rediscovered my classic movie favorites: The Princess Bride, Willow, The Goonies and Beaches. :) Man, I miss those movies...

- I've tasted the Chantico from Starbucks. It is sooo rich, fattening and yummy. It's like drinking pure chocolate.

- I was able to go to the beach this summer, after all! :) Huntington Beach. Freezing, but sandy, nonetheless.

- I haven't gained a pound yet. And I've been stuffing my face with food ever since I got here! :)

- The American Idol 4 compilation CD will be out this May, so I'll be able to get it! Woohoo. :) As well as the Pray for the Soul of Betty CD which will be out May 10th. Hahaha. I wonder if it's any good...

- I've seen the Russell Peters stand-up comedy videos. He's pretty good. He's the Indian-Canadian's Rex Navarette. Reeeaaally funny. Must-download. :)

* * * *

Ohhhkay. Hoping for more things to be happy about in the coming weeks. This homesickness thing is really bothering me. The days go by sooo slooowwwlyyyy. We've only been here a week?!? It feels like two! Agh. :(

INCONCEIVABLE.

If you haven't seen the American Idol results show yet, and you don't want to spoil the surprise, then stop reading this right now.

* * * *

I am officially in mourning. I am shocked beyond belief.

He has been eliminated.

The one I am always looking forward to watching in AI. The one whose smoldering stares make my day. The one who rocks my world. The one whom I thought would win. The one whom EVERYONE thought would reach the top 3.

Oh my God, this is the most scandalous of all AI episodes. Even more scandalous than the La Toya vote-off.

When Ryan told him that he was in the wrong group, we were like "No waaaay!!!"

When he remained in the bottom 2, everyone in my family was like, "Whaaattt? Oh no!!!!"

When Ryan said that he was going home, everyone screamed to the high heavens. I could almost hear 35 million Americans scream "NOOOO!!!" simultaneously. It was scandalous. It was surreal. This CAN'T be happening!!!!

Impossible. How can he be eliminated this early? How can he be eliminated before friggin Scott?!?! It's just not fair!!!! It's not faaaaaaaaiiirrrr!!! There's something wrong with the voting system. There is something wrong with America for not voting for Constantine. I guess my votes last night didn't count. :( I'm sorry Constantine, I failed you! Agh! I should have voted some more!!! I guess everyone was feeling pretty confident about his chances. Shit. :(

For Constantine fans, it's ok...I cried too. It's a totally natural reaction. *sigh*

Constantine not a part of the Top 3? Constantine not the American Idol?

INCONCEIVABLE.

If Scott Savol wins American Idol, I will boycott the show forever. Curse him and his smirking face. I bet he has this syndicate voting for him or something. **&$&#*ampu*^a&. Stupid sympathy votes! AGH!!!!

*sigh*
Still shocked. Still sad. :(

American Idol LIVE!

Cool! I got to watch AI live! Live, on TV at least. Hehehe. :) I dunno why Star World says that the 4pm show over there in Manila is *Live via Satellite.* 8pm here is 11am there, right? Nye. Nevermind...

It's like..."Wow. Somewhere, a few miles away from me, Ryan Seacrest is introducing one of the AI finalists on stage!" Hahaha. Babaw ba? :) And the best thing about it is...I got to vote! Yay! How funnnn. :)

I voted for everyone except for Scott. Hahaha. I used to be a Savol fan...but at this point in the competition, I have to choose the person whom I want to stay...and the person whom I feel is no big loss. *shrug*

Leni, I voted for Anthony for you!
Mia, I voted for Constantine for you!

And of course I voted a couple more times for Constantine for myself. hehehe. :) Even if his performance did suck. That was such a bad song choice...I think this was the first time that my eyes weren't permanently glued to the screen during a Constantine performance. :p I don't think I even saw half of it. Ugh. :p

I was looking at his pictures in idolonfox.com....and he really isn't cute. He's scary looking actually, in his still-photos. You really have to *watch* him perform to really see the Constantine appeal. Hey...if ever I get to be a lucky girl on the AI live audience wait-list, can you give me really cool slogans to put on my banner? Something like "Constantine Mania in Manila!" (yuck, that was corny...); or "Constantine: Looks can kill." (ugh, even worse); or "Maroulis is the coolest!" (ok, I think I'll stop now)

I'm thinking...Scott, Constantine and Anthony in the bottom 3, based on the performances... Based on popularity (which almost always governs), I'd have to say Scott, Vonzell and Anthony. Hmm. I wonder what will happen? I can't wait! :)

"Thank you for voting for contestant #_. Watch American Idol live tomorrow for the results!"

Eating It All Up

The food here is amazing.

Two things that my taste buds are great fans of:

1) The Pizookie from BJ's Restaurant and Brewhouse. This is the absolute BEST dessert I have ever had. It's this freshly baked cookie inside a deep dish, topped with vanilla bean ice cream. It's served hot, with its chocolate chunks oozing, and its outer crusts a little bit crispy, and its center chewy and soft. Aaaah. Heaven in a cookie.

2) A glazed donut from Krispy Kreme. I know everyone's been saying that the Amazing Glaze donut from Go Nuts Donuts is the same as the Krispy Kreme ones...but they are NOT. Especially when you get to eat a KK donut hot and fresh from the oven. It absolutely melts in your mouth, and nothing compares to the light donut bread and the sinful sugary sweet glaziiinnngg. Gaaaah. Sinful stuff that is.

It's only my 4th day here and already I'm making excuses to stuff my mouth with yummy goodies ("Hey, I'm on vacation!" or "Walang ganito sa Pinas" or "I'll burn it while shopping later...") Gaaaah.

I repeat: The food here...it's amazing...I have died and gone to food heaven. And I will come back to earth a plump girl. :D

Touchdown...

I'm here! I've finally arrived. :)

There's really something different in the air...Not only is it colder, it smells like Downy, too. Haha. :)

Our first few hours here and I've already pigged out on an In-N-Out Cheeseburger "Animal Style" (their way of saying Cheeseburger with Grilled Onions. Yum). Very nice. I've missed that. I have to promise myself to do crunches every night...Can't allow myself to get plump. :p Nooo way.

Tomorrow we'll be meeting some of my cousin's friends. She's a HS senior, and she's really tall and pretty, obviously a popular girl in school, and her boyfriend looks hot. Hahaha. Makes me kind of intimidated actually. I know I'm not a very sociable person, and it takes me quite a while to warm up. So I don't really know how I'll be able to go about meeting anyone, or talking to anyone. :p

Oh well. I guess I'll just have to take things as they come. Hopefully I won't make a fool of myself. :)

Just a few hours in, I'm beginning to realize that I can never live in another country. Haha. :) And I'm having second thoughts on the studying-abroad-thing. Haha. I'm such a wimp. :(

Leaving...

Yay. I'm leaving tonight! All my bags are packed...I'm ready to go! Hahaha.
*sigh*

Yesterday was kinda sad, though. I had to leave the office earlier than planned because my wisdom tooth started to really bother me. Imagine, just a day away from my trip, and my wisdom tooth has to start acting up! Grrr. So my mom had me picked up at the office, and we had to go driving around Metro Manila looking for an available dentist.

We ended up just calling one of mom's dentist friends and asked her for professional advice. So here I am now, stocked up on Ponstan and Amoxycillin, hoping that I won't have any serious toothaches while I'm abroad. Or else my mom will kill me if she has to pay for the outrageous dental fees. :p

Anyway...Leaving the office yesterday was surprisingly sad.

After checking my workstation, making sure that I didn't leave any valuables behind (while seeing that I left *enough* personal stuff to stake my territory and to remind whoever is temporarily replacing me that *I'll be back!*), Diane and Sir Gil accompanied me to the ground floor lobby to say goodbye...

I'm really gonna miss them. :( It's just weird that I won't be seeing them for a month. After the car door closed, I was crying like anything. :( And it didn't help that Diane's goodbye card for me was so sweet. *waaaah!* :(

But I am truly excited for later. :) And for the next month! Yeeehaaa. Can't wait to go factory outlet shopping (gotta stock up on shoes!); can't wait to see my friends over there; can't wait to see my cousins over there; can't wait to watch Star Wars over there; can't wait to actually *see* the buildings I've only learned about in Architectural history (haha, nerd). Can't wait to experience everything!!!

You won't recognize me when I get back, coz I'll be fat. Hahaha. (well, I hope not! But I won't be surprised if I gain 10 lbs, anyway!) Coz I also can't wait to taste all the fantastic food over there! In-N-Out here I come (wah, I've missed this!)!

There's Something About Constanine

Constantine...*eeeeee* :) This picture renders me speechless. Gaaaaah. :) His Bohemian Rhapsody version was awesome. Never imagined that that song could sound so sexy. Haha. :) Especially the "Go where the wind blows..." part. *eeee* :)

"'Cause I can't make you love me if you dont...
You can't make your heart feel something it won't
Here in the dark
These final hours
I will lay down my heart
I'll feel the power
But you wont...No, you won't
'Cause I can't make you love me...
If you don't...."

Bangag Thoughts

I haven't had a good night's sleep for the longest time. I'm tired. I'm bangag. I'm stressed...

And I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO excited for my upcoming US trip! This Thursday! 5 days away! No work for a month! Goodbye humidity! Goodbye work-related stress! Helloooo Los Angeles, Las Vegas, New York City, Washington DC, Boston! Yippeee. :)

Oddly enough, now that I ponder on it, I am excited mainly because I have a one month long vacation from work, and not because I will be going to another country.

I'm just so friggin tired of work. :/

* * * *

Random thoughts for the past week or so...

- I am totally scared of heights. This much I've discovered during my very first Alimak ride at the Columns site.

- The Spongebob Squarepants movie is HORRIBLE. He is only funny for 15 minutes tops. After that, he is just annoying. And boring. *maw*

- "Takot sila sayo." This is what Diane said to me when I wondered out loud why some of our officemates kept asking if I was angry at them. Apparently, they can't gauge my temper just yet. Hehe. Maybe I was PMS-ing when they talked to me? :p

- I wonder what my highschool and college friends would think of that when they hear about it. I'm always the butt of all their jokes, and I have been named the uto-uto-of-the-millenium every year. Hehe. :) But I'm not gullible...just trusting. Haha. :) I mean, who would be scared of me??

- But I guess I have been pretty snappish ever since I started work...Or maybe just ever since? :D

- I have experienced my temper rising. It was surreal. There was a tingling sensation starting from my arms...then I could feel my blood rushing to my head. And then I could hear the blood pounding in my ears. It was so loud that I had to drown it with some loud music...

- Constantine Maroulis rocks my world. I swear, I act like such a silly fanatic whenever he's on TV. There's just something about Constantine! Aaaaah! :) Some words to describe him: Hypnotic. Seductive. Hehehe. Obviously, I'm a fan. :) Kinikilig ako. Hahaha.

- I want to study again. No, I'm not crazy. I want to study again.

- Dishes you must try: the mushroom soup at Jack's Loft; Foccacia and Checca at CPK; Spicy Garlic Squid at North Park (or Zong, if you don't like MSG); onion rings at Brother's Burgers; the Nacho Strips bucket from Buy-the-Bucket; Oishi Pillows. :) I love food. No wonder I'm getting fat. :p Gaaahh.

- I need to sleep. But I have been sacrificing my sleeping time for TV time these past weeks. How can I miss the late night replays of all the CSI shows (Las Vegas, Miami, NY)? I need to know what happens next on Lost! Or on Arrested Development! And American Idol pa! Aaaah. :)

- I need to sleep. Now. Good night...

Wildest Dreams

I was able to watch Oprah's Wildest Dreams Come True this afternoon, and I tell you...I was bawling like a baby. I dunno why, exactly. There isn't anything heart-wrenching about Josh Groban serenading a rich CEO who's totally inlove with him. But there sure was something endearing about it.

You can't help but feel excited for the person who's being "surprised" by the Wildest Dreams bus. And you can't help but wish that *your* wildest dreams be granted by Oprah. Ohhh. That would be such an experience!

Of course, I really can't think of anything mind-blowing about myself to get Oprah to want to make *my* wildest dreams come true. But I have my own wildest dreams all the same, so here goes some of 'em...

- To be able to meet the cast of CSI: Las Vegas. Hmmm...Actually, it would be really cool to be an extra on the show. Starring as the corpse won't be too bad. I won't mind. :)

- If only there was a good forensics program here, I would absolutely LOVE to be a forensics expert! I wonder if there are any short courses I can take on that in the states?

- To be able to watch the AMERICAN IDOL 4 Finale LIVE. Yeah. That would be fantastic. *sigh*

- To work with the great, creative minds of Disney. I always loved to imagine myself brainstorming with a team of creative geniuses on the next Disney picture...And when we're all zapped out of ideas, we'll all go to Disney World to get inspired again. Haha! How fun!!!

- To meet PRINCE WILLIAM!!!! Ohhhh my goodness. :)


This is so exciting, my mind can't think of anything *wilder* than these. Of course, I can think of a few more people I would want to meet, and a lot of other stuff that I would want to have...and I could probably think of countless of wild dreams that are more attainable than the ones I have mentioned...

But although I know that these *wishes* of mine can only come true in my (insert sarcastic tone here) wildest dreams, it doesn't hurt anyone to keep on wishing. Besides, it makes me all giddy and hopeful. You should try it, it's sure to keep you looking (and feeling) young.

*sigh*

I swear, if I'm given a chance to meet Prince William, I promise to become a vegetarian even if I hate vegetables. Haha. How extreme. But that's how sure I am that it will never come true. :( Oh well....:)

Feels Like Summer

Right now, I feel so relaxed, so calm, so HAPPY. :)

I have officially been on my Holy Week break since Wednesday 1 p.m. and I have been loving every minute of it. Sure, I've spent most of my break with my butt permanently glued to my computer chair or to the couch. Sure, I've been stuck here at home with only my siblings as companions while my parents are jetting off somewhere beachy and exotic. But I'm not complaining. I needed this. :D

I've been organizing my iTunes Library...I've been downloading American Idol mp3s and videos...I've been watching DVDs (For Good Friday, we watched The Passion Of The Christ...quite fitting, don't you think?)...I've been catching up on TV shows I have not watched in ages...I have been reading the books I have bought but have never gotten around to reading...

Man, THIS is what summer feels like. No obligations. No stress. No worries!

I can't wait till April 22nd when my REAL SUMMER VACATION will begin . Hah! :)

Shopping Aftershock

I'm one of those tamad-to-shop people. It's really abnormal, I think, as girls are supposed to be the avid shoppers in the species. But sometimes I just don't get the point of torturing my feet with 2 hours of walking around a really crowded mall (Other females, please don't disown me...).

I rarely go shopping. Especially nowadays that I don't have the time and I don't have the money. One thing I've discovered about my shopping habits, though, is that I may not go shopping very often, but when I do, I really pull out all the stops. It's like my mind is chanting "Bihira lang to, get everything you want, pay with everything you have."

And thay's exactly what I did yesterday at Glorietta.

My wallet is now devoid of all cash, and I have a hefty sum of utang when my credit card bill comes along. My mom already threatened to cut my credit 2 months ago when I spent a whole lot of money on spa treatments and some office clothes. I'm sure she'll be coming through with that threat this month when she receives the bill in her mail.

Whatever happened to my firm resolution to keep all my money in a time deposit account, or to invest it in mutual funds? Where did my "mature" financial mindset go?: Down the drain, the moment I spied those must-have shoes in the shop window.,

And I probably won't have any pesos left to convert to dollars for our trip next month. Oh no. I can't miss out on factory outlet shopping over there! Gaaaahhh! I need to stop spending! No more eating out! No more shopping! No more car washes! No more bringing the car to work on Fridays!

But still, I'm happy with the things I bought yesterday. My new, happy Birks. My 2 new, dressy tops from Ensembles. My new, girly top from Maldita. My iPod accessories (woohoo, my iPod looks so cool now). All the food I ate while shopping...Hehe.

Shopping (sans the blisters; sans the pushing and shoving; sans the taray salesladies), is actually pretty fun. Shopping on your own is pretty fulfilling too: You cover more ground, you go straight to what you like, and you can claim that you found that great-skirt-with-the-sulit-price on your own. Thing is, you spend more money (as there is no one to tell you when to stop), you might buy something really not worth its price, and you have no one to talk to or to giggle with when the lady in the dressing room next to yours is trying out a top that is so not right for her body type.

Yup. Shopping is good.

I won't be doing this again too soon, though. I need to give my credit card (and my aching feet!) some time to rest. Till the next good buy? :)

A Night With Old Letters and Dear Memories

I was up all night digging through old letters / notes / pictures / keepsakes. It all started when I was looking for my old organizer because I could not (for the life of me) remember when this certain friend's birthday is (to that friend, I'm sorry, I just suck at birthdays). I ended up looking through my old baul, laughing and sighing while reading letters by friends, notes from classmates, and palancas from all sorts of people.

It was really weird because names from my past were jumping right at me, and I could not remember most of them. Who is this *bleep* that used to like *bleep*? Who is this *bleep* who *I* used to like? Who is this *bleep* who used to like *me*? What was this issue regarding *bleep*? Oh my God, I am getting really old.

I was also pleasantly surprised to (re)discover that the people I have lost touch with have been such a huge part of my life way back when. The letters had the phrases "Friends Forever!" or "Let's keep in touch ok?" or "You'll always be a treasured friend!" or "I am so glad that we've gotten to be really close friends..." It's really sad that I've lost touch with most of those people whom I've considered really close friends...But albeit such a great loss, revisiting that beautiful part of our friendships is such a heartwarming experience.

I also didn't realize how many penpals I had back then! I had an email pal from Singapore, one from Canada, one from the States, one from Australia...and one from White Plains, QC! Hehehe. :) They were all really nice, too. They would send me magazines, postcards, pictures...I wonder where they all are now? Maybe I should write them again?

* * * *

Taking a walk down memory lane can make you feel lots of things: amusement, sadness, guilt, happiness. I realized, though, that there is never any pain (NOTE: This isn't guaranteed unless you take this *trip* after all your issues have been resolved, and all of your dramas are in the past). Reminiscing is good for the soul; the gift of hindsight truly is a great gift to have; and it's always good to remember all the great times, and to remember all the great lessons we've learned from all the bad times.

To quote the very wise words of one of my dear, dear friends: "Don't cry because it ended; Smile because it happened." And there are truly many things to smile about. :)

I'm a Fan

Ever since TV ads and word of mouth have been building up prior to the start of American Idol 4, I have been waiting with bated breath for the TV series to start. From the auditions stage, I already mentally listed my personal favorites from each city; I laughed and booed along with the rest of the world when the really "walang-K" ones think they're all that; I sat in front of the TV open-mouthed and wide-eyed when weird or crazy contestants get their share of air time; I giggle like a schoolgirl whenever the really cute, really hot, or really sexy (male) contestants come on (/me melts) .

Watching American Idol is fun. It's unpredictable. It's nerve-racking. It's exciting. It's entertainment at its best. And Season 4 is even more spectacular (in my opinion), because there are more people to root for, more unexpected twists, and more raw talent. ;)

Out of the top 24 (currently whittled down to top 16), I have picked my favorite American Idol contenders. In no particular order:

Bo Bice. He didn't get much air time during the Hollywood segments, but Bo is really wowing everyone with his consistent performances, and his simple-pero-rock showmanship (sorry, I couldn't help but squeeze that in. Hehe). He's not really very pleasant to look at (to quote my sister: mukha talaga siyang caveman), but to watch him perform on stage really gets your adrenaline pumping. :D


Anwar Robinson. There's something about the way he sings that makes you feel relaxed. He's the favorite of all the older people, I think, because he has such a mature tone to his voice (Hmmm..I sounded a bit like Paula there. Haha), and he's the classic, his-notes-melt-in-his-mouth kind of singer. :) Go Anwar!



Mario Vasquez. He looks a lot like Jai from Queer Eye...or Wilmer Valderrama from That 70's Show. Haha. He's a really polished performer, I think. He's got it all: the moves, the voice, audience impact, looks. And he already has a really big fanbase, so he has a good chance of winning.



Constantine Maroulis. He's not really that cute (I think his smile & his double chin ruins the whole image) & he's picking all the wrong songs to sing during the semi-finals. But I dunno. There's just something about Constantine. He has this certain tremble in his voice (rocker pero smooth), and you must admit, he really knows how to seduce the camera (that sounded weird...but you know what I mean!). Constantine also has a LOT of fans. I guess people are attracted to what's different. He could win just on his sex appeal. Haha. :p

Scott Savol. He may not be everyone's favorite because of the way he looks. And he was sort of a jerk during the group performances. But I became a big fan of his voice ever since he sang during the auditions. It was like, wow. I didn't expect *that* to come out of *him.* Ang lamig ng boses nya.




Travis Tucker. He's cute. He has a good voice. He's macho. ;) And he can dance. God. Don't you just love boys who can dance? Ack! I think it's such a turn on. Hehe. :)




Mikalah Gordon. I'm part of the half that finds her amusing. I don't mind her being so talkative (ok, maybe the accent is a bit grating). She's fun (and she should have fun at her age), but she can pull off being serious (I love her last performance...). I just hope she doesn't perm her hair all the time. :p



Carrie Underwood. Farmer girl. :) I like her because she's wholesome, and sunny, and simple. She's not as primped and polished as the other girls, but that's what's nice. :) I think she has a good chance of winning (if she can outshine the boys), because she could be America's Sweetheart. :)



Nikko Smith. After listening to Part-Time Lovers for the nth time, I can finally say that I am a fan of Nikko Smith. He's such a smooth performer, no wonder Paula got goosebumps during his last performance! Hehe. :) He does look like Bobby Brown, though. Haha.



Nadia Turner. Ok, so I was a bit thrown off by her 2nd performance (that whoa-oh-oh song na hindi maintindihan), but she really *is* a unique, exciting performer. That much she proved in her performance of "Tenderness." Wah, it was so good. :) I literally got goosebumps especially when she got to the fast part. :)




* * * *

My male favorites are noticeably more than my female favorites. The boys are already outshining the girls in the semi-finals, what more in the final round? It's kind of unfair that 2 more guys get to be voted out next week. The remaining girls aren't even HALF as worthy as the rest of the boys. :( If I had my way, I would have this shocking twist in this reality TV show: Instead of performing separately, the boys and the girls would have one big showdown, and the 4 lowest votes will get booted out, regardless of their gender. :p Hehe. That's kinda mean, though. :p

If I had to pick my top 6 girls, I'll probably say Mikalah, Carrie, Vonzell, Nadia, Amanda and Jessica (don't you think she looks like Shashee? Hehe). No to Janay! I can't believe she's still there! She always looks so *shocked* when she's singing. Argh. :p

I really think that the next American Idol will be a guy. If you look back on season 3, the male contestants didn't have enough oomph to win it: Matt was dull. John Stevens was even duller. George Huff was OK, but he didn't have enough appeal. JPL was cute, but his performances weren't wow. Yup. Season 4's males are definitely gonna make it big.

I can't wait. I'm such a fan. :) Hehe.

Bittersweet February

There's always something special about the month of February. Special events are crammed into the shortest month of the year. Valentine's Day of course, always comes to mind. As does Chinese New Year. And who can forget my birthday? Hehe. Well, at least it's special to me. :p

Something strange also happens: When February hits, I always turn into the best and the worst version of myself.

I become the bitchiest, the most temperamental, the most emotional, the happiest, the most depressed, the calmest, the most erratic, the craziest, the silliest, the most complicated woman you can ever imagine. And saying *that* is redundant in itself.

I think it's the cool climate. Or maybe the evident stress hanging in the air brought on by all these "special events." Maybe it's the anticipation. Maybe it's all the expectations.

February is probably the most emotionally draining time of the year for me. It is the time when I get my hopes high; when I get the biggest adrenaline rush in my life; when I crash down the hardest; when I break my heart a million times over. It is when I expect too much; when I set myself up for disappointment; when I cry like a woman is wont to do when she is hurt.

February is bittersweet. All my happiness, all my fears, all my passion, all my pain, and all my sadness...contained in 28 days! It can overwhelm anyone, I'm sure. But I'm proud to say that I have survived it every year, and I emerge as a wiser, stronger person because of it.

February is bittersweet. It is when I wake up alternately happy and sad; It is when I feel the loneliest and when I feel the most loved. Contradicting (or crazy) as of all that may seem, all of that is what makes February special to me.

* * * *

Beautiful things happen in February. I just have to focus on that.

The secret to keeping sane?

I just had the most relaxing day of my life -- thanks to my mom.

I was originally planning to go to the gym this morning, and then on to the office for OT in the afternoon...My plans for OT were changed (thankfully) yesterday, and I was supposed to watch "Alfie" with Leni instead...That plan also fell through (maybe next time, Leni?:), so I was looking forward to a day of bumming around the house.

I was too tired to go to the gym this morning (thanks to the jamming-inuman session last night at Randell's thesis house -- Ang saya! "Pare Ko" is definitely the best inuman song ever. Haha), so I slept till around noon.

And then my mom lured me out of the house with the promise of treating me to a hot oil. So we headed to Profiles Salon along Katipunan

I had a minty hairspa treatment...and it came with a back massage. Ahhh. Heaven. :) A few days ago, I also had a whole body massage here at home, and those were the best 2 hours of my life (Having a massage while watching American Idol...sounds fun doesn't it?).

So now I feel totally relaxed...My back and my hair are knot-free...My hair looks great (YES, I'm proud of it. Look at it. Smell it. Feel it. It's absolutely FAB. Hahaha). These are the kinds of days that I live for. *sigh* The only downside about having FAB (yes, all-caps) hair is having no one around to appreciate it. *pout* I just hope this lasts for at least a week...

The secret to keeping sane? Pamper yourself every once in a while. :)

Poll Results

The Mini Poll in my blog is meant to give my fans (the people who are coerced by unknown powers to view this blog) something new and interesting to look for everytime they visit this URL. It is also meant to gather the opinions of random people (the individuals who accidentally and unfortunately stumble onto this page). Mostly they're about the topics that trouble me, intrigue me and confuse me (all of which mean the same thing, according to my paranoid perception).

Mostly, I placed the Mini Poll here to help me decide on things that my fickle mind just can't handle.

For the haircut question, many would rather have me trim my long hair. FYI, I already cut my hair about 2 weeks ago. I didn't *just* trim it...I hacked off about half of it (it still hangs a little bit below my shoulders -- that shows you how long it is to begin with, if "shoulder-length" is already *half* of it). I love it. It's not too short. I can *not* comb it in the mornings and it doesn't get tangled up. My shirts don't get soaked in the back when I'm running late and I am not able to dry my hair properly. And best of all, many say I look younger because of it (as opposed to Mia's "para ka nang manang sa buhok mo" comment when my hair went past my shoulder blades).

On the licensure exam question. I'm still undecided. It's either January or June 2006 for me. Or do I need more time? Aw crap, who am I kidding? I'm scared to death. I don't want to decide. Not yet.

For the most recent poll...The leaving-on-a-jet-plane poll. Majority said "Stay for 2 weeks at the most." I have decided, though (even before looking at the poll results) to leave for a month. I mean, come on. Who am I to pass up a free trip ("free" as in paid for by my parents) to New York!? And to Washington DC? I already passed a formal letter to the big boss, and it looks good, so far. I think that I'll still have a job to go back to this coming May...Good for me because I'm starting to grow fond of that place.

I have more questions to ask. I've been thinking a lot about my plans for the future, lately. Should I take up Masters in Architecture abroad? Should I take up another course abroad? Should I take an MBA already? I would REALLY want to study again. Nakakamiss kasi. And maybe because I'm yearning to make up for my so-so performance in the past. I mean, if I'm really stuck with my profession for eternity, I should at least strive to be the best that I can, eh? Maybe if I study some more? Maybe if I do something different? I dunno. Bah. I'm confused.

But I'll make sure to post fun, un-serious questions next time, para naman maiba. Haha. :)

Life Is Like A Wheel...

Things are looking up.

After a week of depression and pessimism, I finally feel as if I am breaking away from the forces that are pulling me downwards.

In other words, I'm going to be ok. :)

And in the words of one of my quirky friends..."Life is like a wheel...sometimes you're up. Sometimes you're down!" *bow*

Right now, I'm *up*...and I'm planning to enjoy my stay while it lasts. :)

Bad Karma

Today is not my day.

Actually, this whole week generally sucks so I guess this isn't my week either.

And since it's only the first month of 2005, and since my whole outlook for this month has been totally screwed, then it hasn't been my month OR my year.

Does it sound like the Friends' theme song to you? Not as optimistic though. And I don't foresee a happy ending. And there are no people saying "So your life sucks...but we'll be there for you!"

I have a feeling that my day will take a turn for the worse. I can feel all the bad karma just hovering right outside my door. It's just like what Janrey said during our freshman year: "Sa mga masasaya...May katapusan rin yan!"

In case you're all wondering...I'm PMS-ing.

But then, I would rather be PMS-ing and be happy, than be PMS-ing and be depressed. Do you get what I mean?

Missing Kobe

Coming home last night from work, I was suddenly overcome by a raw feeling of sadness... After honking my horn, I strained my ears, half-expecting to hear the familiar barking of our dog. Hearing only silence, I was again reminded of the fact that Kobe was gone and coming home will never be the same again.
* * * *

As you may have figured out from my introduction...Our dog died.

That statement isn't meant to be funny, as most statements about death aren't even slightly humorous. It isn't meant to be aloof, because God knows how much I am grieving right now. It isn't meant to extract any pity from you, because I can't expect most people to understand how hard it is to lose one's pet...

That statement was just an attempt to help me let it all out, I suppose. I was kind of hoping that the statement "our dog died" would also tell you "I'm sad" and "I miss him." But then, only few people would really get that...

* * * *

Kobe has been in our family for almost 3 years. He was an adorable little puppy who always snuggled up against my shoes when he was scared or sleepy. He wasn't trained: he pretty much did whatever it is he wanted, and that included peeing everywhere and jumping at everyone. :) He also craved for attention: whenever we'd say hello to him before going off to work or school, he would run around in circles, hoping that we'd play with him, even for just a while.

I will miss hearing his high-pitched, "pumipiyok" bark everytime I come home. I will miss how he cocks his head to right whenever we would make silly sounds to catch his attention.

I hope that in his last hours - even though he was in a great deal of pain, even though we brought him to the vet too late - I hope that he never doubted for a moment that we love him. Because in his own doggie way - in the way he would look at us adoringly, in the way he would always, always be so happy to see us even if we've neglected him for a while - he surely made us feel loved.

This is Kobe last December 2004...less than a month before he died. The vet shaved his fur because of his fleas...he looks thinner because of it, don't you think? :( 

Me and Kobe during New Year's Eve 2003. We were keeping him company inside the house because he was scared of all the noise. He looks pretty scary in the pic too, with his glowing blue eyes. Hehe. 

Sit Kobe! 

This is Kobe on his first night in our house...Cutie, isn't he? :) 

My Weakness

I spent more than half of my savings on Christmas gifts last December. So it was with firm resolve that I declared "No more exorbitant shopping!" - for the months of January, February and March 2005, at least. I have dreams of converting my hard-earned pesos into U.S. dollars come April 2005, so that I can do some "exorbitant shopping" in the States during our vacation.

Only 2 weeks into the new year, I have already broken that resolve. After the holidays, you acquire something that I call the "After-Christmas-shopping-itch": You spend almost 2 months buying really nice stuff for other people, and you pass up the chance to own that really nice khaki jacket at U2 just so you can *pay* for these really nice stuff. Your shopping urges are begging for compensation, and as a result, you feel as if you need to reward yourself by buying everything you've always wanted (as long as they're within your salary range, of course).

This is the moment where I am experiencing the contradicting emotions that one feels when one has a credit card: Exhiliration from total freedom and the despair of being caged in (as caused by the credit limit).

So what have I been buying (at the rate I'm going, though, "stocking up" seems like a more appropriate term)? What are the things that I think are worth going bankrupt for?

BOOKS.

Some girls have weaknesses for shoes. Others cannot live without make-up. I, for one, am a sucker for books. Leave me alone at a Powerbooks outlet, or set me loose inside Page One, and I will die a happy girl. When I saw the huge Borders store in Singapore, I felt my heart literally drop when my parents told me that we didn't have time to visit it.

When I get married and have kids, I dream of giving them a nice house in the suburbs, with a nice airy kitchen, a garden they can play in, and a private library where they can spend all day in and emerge as geniuses. :D

I am currently trying to complete 4 sets of books, all of which are made up of several volumes, and of which each volume is quite expensive: A Series of Unfortunate Events (what with the recent production of its movie caused the books' prices to rise somewhat), The Chronicles of Narnia (a definite classic), The Shopaholic Series (which is the "chick-lit" I've been referring to in my last entry), and the Griffin & Sabine Series (I've been trying to collect Nick Bantock books ever since college, but his books cost so much that I have to walk around Powerbooks for an hour with the book in my hand, just to convince myself that Nick Bantock books are an investment and that it's ok to spend a week's worth of my salary on just one freakin' book because my future children will benefit from it too - assuming that they'll love books as much as I do...).

So I have revealed my Achilles' heel: Give me a book on my birthday (*hint hint*), and I will honor you forever. ;) Lock me inside a bookstore and I will not protest (especially if it's Powerbooks Megamall, since there is a cafe inside as well as music to read by). Hit me with a bunch of good books and I will drop down immediately and read. :)

January hasn't even ended yet and I am at the peak of my After-Christmas-shopping-itch. May I have mercy on my bank account.

Realizations

I feel totally relaxed after my one-week vacation this Christmas break...Subic and Baguio was a blast. :) One week of freedom gave me a much-needed rest...and provided me with enough time to mull things over.

Realization #1: It's better to give than to receive. And it's better to give really nice, well-thought-of, kind-of-expensive or really-expensive-my-bank-account-is-wiped-out gifts to the people you love, rather than give them last-minute, so-generic-anyone-can-get-them-at-the-grocery-store kinds of gifts.

Realization #2: High school boys can be pretty stupid sometimes. Dense. Insensitive. You get the picture. This is for my my impressionable little sister who's about to attend her prom in about a month's time: Don't get hung up on the fantasy. Dump the dude and get someone who's a gentleman. Tsss. I can't believe they don't teach manners in that school of theirs. The prom doesn't have to be magical...you just have to get through it in the best way you can. And that is not by getting your crush who treats you like #*&$. :D

Realization #3: I need to take care of myself more. I realize that I'm not getting any younger. I am gaining weight. I am getting paler (no, not *whiter*...paler. As in, unhealthy skin and unideal blood circulation). I can hear my bones cracking evertime I bend over. I think seeing myself under fluorescent lights while trying on a bathing suit at Nike's was quite a shocker. Hehe. Getting used to seeing myself in the mirror in a house full of yellow lights is not really good practice.

Realization #4: After bitching and complaining about my stressful job for 2 whole months last year, I finally realize that I'm getting quite comfortable in my office. I realize this after being suddenly assigned to a rush project and feeling quite pleased with myself after finishing the job on time. I'm really insecure when it comes to my so-called skills as an architect-to-be...so whenever I get a compliment, I lap it up like a thirsty puppy-dog. Kind of pathetic, actually. But I take what I can get. :)

Realization #5: I am anti-social. I don't like meeting new people because then I'd have to think of new things to talk about. I don't like making small talk with acquaintances...'cause...well, why waste time acting all friendly with someone you hardly know? I don't like going to gimik places at night because they're all so full of posers and people who just go there to *be* seen. Or people who like to look at other people and give them the once-over. And I don't like being once-over-ed. And my hair smells like a cigarette factory afterward. Ick. And I don't like sucking-in my tummy for hours on end just because every other girl in the room is wearing mid-riffs and tight tops (OK, it's the insecurity talking here, I think). I'd really rather just stay at home and read a good book, or watch a good movie, or just hang out with good, good friends. :) Call me Les-the-Hermit. :)

Realization #6: I think I may be a good candidate for Alzheimer's Disease. I know, I know...not funny. But I'm noticing that I'm starting to be really forgetful often. I don't remember the names of some of my highschool batchmates (we're a small batch and it's easy to know everyone, believe me). I don't remember the names of some of the people I knew in college. Let's not get started on birthdays. I forget little details that I'm supposed to remember. I forget events. I forget a lot of things. I'm irritable most of the time (isn't that a symptom?) I'm doomed...

Hmm...Now that I think about it, I realize that I've been thinking about lots of random stuff lately. It's good in a way because I'm not thinking about any major dilemma in my life or anything. It's bad because I should concentrate on acting on these realizations rather than just complaining about them and getting all wow-I'm-pretty-pleased-with-myself-for-realizing-something-about-life. :P

I think I'm like this because I've been reading too many chick-lit lately. I should read less and go out with friends more. :(